There Are Aliens in This County

It’s spring in Stump County and everybody is so busy planting and plowing and cutting grass that nobody has any time to get into any trouble.

If you live in the county, no trouble is a good thing. On the other hand if you have to write a column for a newspaper it’s not good.

This gives a poor reporter three options. I can report on something that happened last week, I can report on something that might happen or I can just make something up like I did last spring.

Fortunately, I just found out that there are aliens living in the county.

The Government knows all about it but doesn’t like to talk about it. They won’t even tell me which planet they’re from.

All I can find out is they are illegal and are willing to work for less than anybody in the county but me. On the other hand, they are willing to work harder than I am.

In any case, some of them are living in cars and in buildings that nobody else will even go in.

It’s hard to believe anybody here would break the law to hire someone illegal just so they don’t have to pay as much as they would have to pay someone local.

I guess they tell themselves that it’s okay because living in a car is cheap so they don’t need as much money as someone who has to pay rent and stuff.

It just doesn’t seem right to me. Maybe aliens don’t need to eat either. Who knows what people from other planets do.