Siri, Whomp-em Biscuits & Sequences

I just want to know, just who is Siri?  Apparently she knows everything and hides in my friends’ phones.  Maybe I am just jealous. Before computers and cell phones I received regular phone calls asking me stuff. I called it “Ask Averett.”  Now I am obsolete just like dial telephones, phone books and a long list of other things.

My objection is that this Siri person’s opinions are accepted as absolute fact.  Now, back when I was a source of information I offered three levels of information.  This is a fact.  I am pretty sure I am correct.  And I think the answer is:  And of course I don’t know.  Siri is always right or says she doesn’t have a “source” for that information.

Siri is sometimes wrong (without a disclaimer) but those who use her believe her anyway.  She is the same as the voice in the dashboard of some cars that give directions. The directions are always absolute but even after it directs you to the wrong address and you find yourself in a ghetto instead of at the restaurant, they still trust it.

This week, one of my friends said he heard that hummingbirds can’t walk.  I replied that I am skeptical of that claim. He asked Siri who stated that hummers CAN’T walk but can “scoot” sideways. I maintained that scooting is walking if it involves moving their feet.  Shuffling is walking, just like limping is walking. I maintain that any movement that uses the feet for motion (except hopping) is walking and I am not certain about hopping.

Then I found a You Tube video of a hummer walking. Now, I realize videos can be faked and I realize that there may be only one hummer on earth that can walk, but I am going to stick with “I am skeptical about the claim that they can’t” no matter what this Siri says.

On an odd side note, just as I was typing the above my phone rang with a snake question so I am not totally obsolete yet.  Yay me!

This morning I stopped at a country store and got a sausage biscuit. I like eating country store sausage biscuits. Sometimes you hit the jackpot and other times you don’t.  This time was a disappointment. The sausage was fine but the biscuits were whomp-em biscuits which serve a purpose but I expected better. If you don’t know whomp-em biscuits, they are the ones that come in a can. You unwrap them, whomp them on the counter to open them and then cook them.  Not the best choice when I was raised on Southern biscuits.

For the past week I have been afflicted with sequences. This is the story of my life. I start a simple project, the sequences start and it takes me days to finish.

So, two weeks ago my bride Management decided we needed a new freezer. I didn’t think there was anything wrong with the old one. Management was annoyed with it because it built up ice on the bottom and when it melted there was a wet spot on the floor.  I always take these things seriously. Remember, I am the one thing that annoys Management the most and I have to keep track of the things that make her replace things.  Who knows, I could be replaced next and I wouldn’t like that. My lesson from this is Don’t make wet spots on the floor.

She ordered a new freezer and it was delivered. Then the sequences started. First I had to clean out half of the pantry to get the old freezer out and the new one in.  Then, because the newer one was bigger, I had to remove some shelves, then I realized while the pantry was half empty I should repaint, then I had to remove the remaining shelves, then I had to relocate some wiring, then I had to patch the sheetrock, then I painted, then I installed a new floor, then I replaced the shelves, then Management wanted the doors rehung (she had ordered the new hardware just a little while ago).  She pointed out that the date on the shipping tag was March 3, 2021. This must have been, could have been, was possibly a mistake.

I was reminded of a Tee-shirt I once saw that read, “If I say I’ll do it, I WILL do it, there is no reason to nag me every six months about it.”

I wisely didn’t say this to Management.

At this point the simple job of replacing the freezer is almost over. The only sequence left is to finish hanging the doors, add some door trim and add a threshold. I should be finished by the end of the summer if all goes well and there are no additional sequences.