Santa Claus is Coming to Town

You want your child to grow up being honest.  How do you help her to do so?  The first thing that comes to mind for me is that you will be honest with your child.

I can’t tell you how many times, during the Christmas Season, I hear a parent say to a small child, “If you don’t behave, Santa isn’t going to bring you anything.”

It may work for a time, but a child has an attention span of about one minute for each year of life.  That means a three-year-old will possibly be able to remember what you said and react to it for about three minutes.  Should you repeat this tactic many times during the month, she will probably remember that you said it many times, but no matter how difficult the child has been during the month, Old Mr. Santa will surely find something in that big sack to leave for the naughtiest of children to find on Christmas morning.

So, what did your child learn?  Mommy (or Daddy) didn’t tell me the truth.  After a few years of going through this routine, the child will know that what you have been saying isn’t true.  She will then have a hard time understanding why you become upset when she tells a falsehood.

Children tend to misbehave when they are tired, hungry, bored, frustrated or sick.  Should she become difficult, stop for a minute and run through the reasons she may be in a bad mood.  Are you forgetting that she has been sitting in a shopping cart for an hour?  Perhaps her diaper is wet, or she’s not had a healthy snack since breakfast and it’s almost lunchtime.  Try changing her and cleaning her hands so she can snack on a cup of milk and some dry cereal.

Once you have ruled out most of the obvious things, you might want to feel her head to see if she has a low-grade fever.  Or, you may realize she is frustrated that you aren’t paying enough attention to her.  Reading a small book as you continue with your shopping may be all it will take to get her through a rough spot.

Should you be cooking or baking, hand her some play dough and a few cookie cutters.  The tops off of a few jars and a batch of homemade play dough is an easy and inexpensive way to keep her interested while you are busy.  Keep her close and chat with her or ask her questions.

Don’t assume your child is being naughty.  She may just be doing what is expected of a child her age.  Should you fuss at her, tell her she is bad, or spank her, she may become more frustrated and things could likely escalate.  If you take just a few minutes to calm her, you may save yourself much time and frustration.  And whatever you do, don’t forget to praise her when she is doing well.  “Thank you for waiting so patiently while mommy shops.”  We all appreciate a bit of encouragement, and that includes wee ones!  Happy parenting!

© 2011 Brenda Holland-Robinson