Reminders as We Age

Some people always remind me and other folks about aging, so now this reporter is taking the time to remind you about aging, too!  Don’t laugh because it’s all true and will be happening to you sooner than you can imagine.

I think I really received these reminders because a BIG birthday is looming on the March horizon. The perks of reaching 60, heading toward 70 and now, beyond, are phenomenal.  See if these perks refer to you:

• Kidnappers are not very interested in you; that is, unless you are a millionaire or from a rich family that can afford a ransom payment.         

• In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.

• No one expects an older person to run……..anywhere!!!

• People call at 9:00 p.m. or 9:00 a.m. and ask, “Did I wake you?”

• People no longer view you, an older person, as a hypochondriac.

• Just think; the things you buy now won’t wear out.

• There is nothing left to learn the “hard” way.

• You can eat supper at 4 p.m. if you like and retire for the night at 7 p.m.

• You can live without sweets but not your glasses.

• You get into heated arguments about insurance and pension plans.

• You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

• You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into a room.

• Your eyes won’t get much worse.

• Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.

• Your joints are more accurate than the meteorologists and the national weather service.

• Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can’t remember them either.

• Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.

• Never, ever take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

• You never try to remember why you walked outside, or into another room, or opened the refrigerator door.    

• You call everyone “honey” or “sweetie” because you can’t remember their name; that is, until a day or two later.

• The biggest troublemaker you will probably ever have to deal with watches you from the bathroom mirror every morning.

• If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.

Ah, being young is a beautiful thing but being old is so comfortable.  If we couldn’t laugh at ourselves, it would be quite a dull day!

The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting for in line.  When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to youth, think about that Algebra class!  One of the many things no one tells you about aging is that it is such a nice change from being young.  JUST A REMINDER!!!