Children and Emotional Health

We’re now coming to grips with some of the effects of the COVID lockdown.  We’re finding that many children are not emotionally in a good place.  Social isolation and loneliness created anxiety and left many children depressed.  Even as parents, we faced worrying about what were safe practices and where was a healthy environment.  What is a parent to do?  

One of the most important things you can do for your child’s overall well-being is to show them how to foster robust emotional health.  You do this by helping them to understand that emotional health is recognizing and managing one’s emotions.  This includes coping with stress and adversity while growing positive relationships with others.  Here are several tips to help you instill in your child these skills. 

Recognize Your Emotion.  The first and most crucial step is to help your child recognize and label their emotions.  An easy game for growing this skill is to have an “emotions chart” on your refrigerator.  You can download a chart that includes pictures of a range of emotions.  Ask your kids to put a magnet on their feelings that day.  Tell them to change their spot if their feelings change.

Talk About It.  Encourage your child to express his or her emotions in a constructive manner.  If they are angry, ask them why they are angry.  This conversation should be in a safe and supportive environment.  Your goal is to help your child feel comfortable talking about their feelings.  Listening to their words is critical to encouraging them to share their moods.  This is an excellent time to practice reflective listening.  Children are more likely to develop positive emotional habits when they feel heard and understood.

Train Coping Mechanisms.  Coach your child on using healthy coping mechanisms to manage his or her emotions.  Once your child has learned to identify their feelings, you can help them work through them.  Practice activities encouraging relaxation, such as deep breathing exercises, thinking happy thoughts, or praying.  Music, writing, or drawing is also helpful for children to express their feelings.  Encourage them to reach out to you when they feel overwhelmed.

Demonstrate Healthy Emotional Habits.  This is not a time for  “do as I say, not as I do.”  Show your kids how to manage their emotions by you being open and honest about your feelings and modeling coping mechanisms. 

Encourage Positive Self-Talk.  Train your child to use positive self-talk to build resilience and self-esteem.  Always encourage him or her to use words of encouragement and motivation in all situations.  Social media is overloaded with negative feedback.  Your goal is to help your children to recognize their strengths and accomplishments. 

Pattern Empathy and Kindness.  Grow empathy and kindness to others in your children.  Allow them to understand that everyone experiences emotions.  Help them see that treating others with respect and compassion is crucial.  Include in your kid’s activities acts of kindness, such as helping a friend or donating to charity.  For example, encourage your children to give toys away yearly on their birthday.

All parents witness the swinging pendulum of their children’s emotions.  One moment they’re thrilled to show you how well they did on a project, and the next, your child declares that life is unfair, and he or she never gets anything.  From the “terrible two’s to the trifling teen years,” helping your child manage their emotions is challenging.  The challenge is to help them learn to handle these emotions.  Emotions can be loud and disruptive, but they are not bad.  They are God-given and for a purpose.  Emotions alert us to what is happening and how we relate to it.  Stifling or stuffing emotions is not healthy.  It teaches our kids to avoid being in touch with the people and circumstances surrounding them.  

Teaching your child how to recognize and handle their emotions is crucial for their well-being.  Your child can develop the emotional skills they need to thrive with your guidance.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7

Cheryl Gowin and Dennis Gowin.  Call us with your feedback, comments, issues, or questions; our phone number is 434-808-2637.