Birkenstocks, Frosty and Following in My Footsteps

A few years ago my Bride Management bought me a pair of sandals. Her idea was that if my shoes were easy to take on and off that I might wear them more and barefoot less.

I was shocked by how difficult they were to wear.  They were comfortable and so on but dozens of people asked me, “Are those Birkenstocks?”  In the first few weeks I spent more time talking about sandals than I have in the rest of my life.

Then, one day, they disappeared. Management blamed me. I blamed my dog Hobo. I didn’t know it but Birkenstocks are fairly expensive, especially for someone whose shoe expense for the past ten years or so has been Zero dollars.

This weekend we went to help the son and his bride hang some cabinets and so I could visit my tools. I go by occasionally to see how many of my tools have run away from home and moved to his house.

Management walked into his shop and the first thing she saw was a pair of Birkenstocks on the workbench. It happens that they had been there for the past year.

He doesn’t know how or why they are in his shop. I am concerned that he didn’t let me know. My losing a pair of Birkenstocks could have been fatal in this case.

Maybe they followed my tools or something. My concern is I WASN’T INFORMED. If the son finds my wallet do I get it back or will he just leave it on his workbench?  Does he have my missing pants and my multiple missing shirts?

On a positive note, I now have someone to blame for any and everything missing in my world. If he will keep my shoes, my only pair of shoes, he will keep anything.

If it is missing don’t ask me. Ask the dog, the kids and the Grand-brats. I am not responsible.

On the other hand, the son and his bride will be delivering my youngest Grand-brat, who I am calling Frosty, tomorrow. By the time you read this she will be here. Things have certainly changed since my brats were born. We had to wait and be surprised when they decided to arrive. Then we had to look to see if we had a boy or a girl. Another surprise.

Frosty has an appointment tomorrow. Unless she decides to arrive today she will arrive tomorrow. This will be a good lesson for her.  If you don’t arrive on schedule, They Will Make Sure You Arrive on Time. No excuses, no nothing.

This is all new to me. Doing things on time I mean. I was on time for our wedding and a few other times accidentally but that just isn’t something I’ve had to be concerned about. WE have met every deadline for the newspaper but that is because of the other great folks who take care of that.

We’ve never missed a deadline and they even demand I personally don’t miss one.  If I don’t have this finished by 5:00 today I will be in trouble. This is why my Bride Management has her Management Team. The group of them make sure I do whatever I am supposed to do by whatever time I am supposed to do it.

The daughter called yesterday. She bought a room full of furniture at an auction for two dollars. She was annoyed that the fees and taxes were forty cents.  She is right about that. That is 20 percent taxes and fees which is ridiculous. It doesn’t matter that she bought two beds, two dressers, two desks and some other stuff for two bucks, 20 percent is just too much.  

They then loaded all of it on their Dakota pickup (she is eight months pregnant by the way) and brought it home.  When I laughed at her “Clampett load” she responded, “My dad always said it doesn’t matter how much you load as long as you tie it down well.” Since I am well known for overloading trucks and trailers I probably did say that.

I am as proud of her as I was when I found her brother at age two rooting through the trash can. It brought a tear to my eye to see my son making his first Dumpster Dive.