We’ll Get Together Then

“We’ll get together then, Son, you know we’ll have a good time then.”  Sound familiar?  This is the haunting refrain from Harry Chapin’s song Cat’s in the Cradle.  Did you know the song is based on a real relationship; a relationship where the father is too busy to spend time with his son? “We’ll get together then, son” is the father’s reply when asked to spend time with his son.  From his son’s birth, the father makes excuses for not being there; “there were planes to catch and bills to pay.”  An understanding son tells his father that’s okay when Dad can’t find the time to play ball. The son follows with the thought, “I’m going to be just like you, Dad.”

The roles do reverse.   When the son comes home from college, the father asks to spend time with his son. “What I’d really like, Dad, is to borrow the car keys. See you later,” is the son’s response.  The song ends with the father retired, calling the son about a visit. The son’s negative response is “my new job is a hassle and the kids have the flu, but it’s been sure nice talking to you, Dad.” The father’s last thought, “My boy is just like me.  He’s grown up to be just like me.”  “When you comin’ home, son?”  “I don’t know, when, but we’ll get together then, Dad.  We gonna have a good time then.”

Sunday is Father’s Day.  A celebration day; also a day to remind fathers what a responsibility it is to be a Dad.  Children who have an involved father are more likely to be emotionally secure, confident, have better social skills as well as being less likely to get in trouble at home and at school.  Paul issues a challenge to all fathers: And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.” (Eph. 6:4)  In just a few words, dads are given a challenge that includes responsibility, accountability and possibilities.

As a father you are responsible to guide your children without “provoking them to wrath.” This means that you must teach your children in a way that you do not intentionally cause angry, resentful, discouraged or bitter feelings. This does not mean doing only what your children approve of and always acting as a friend.  Your challenge is to find a way to discipline and teach healthy boundaries without angering your children.  In many cases, there is a fine line between the two.

You, as the father, also have the responsibility to make God part of your children’s core being.  Your responsibility is to reflect God’s love through your love, provide leadership, examples in life, to teach your children about the Lord and how to live by the Lord’s commands.  Training and admonition mean more than discipline or punishment. It includes spending time instructing and showing you children what is right, what is good and how to avoid what is wrong or evil.  This is an incredible challenge for all fathers.

Children are a father’s gift and blessing. (Psalms 127:3-5)  With this blessing comes accountability.  This challenge is given to fathers, not to mothers, not to the daycare, not to the babysitter, not to the grandparents or to the church, the school or the youth program.   All of these people can help and be part of the program, but fathers, the challenge was given to you directly.

With the responsibly and accountability of being a father comes the hope of the possibilities. You are given the possibility of bringing up godly children, independent of the influences of our world.  Paul gives the possibility of a strong bond between you as a father and your children; the possibility that when you retire you can visit your children and play with happy, well-adjusted grandchildren who love God and their grandpa.

As the song goes, we tend to reflect what we have learned from our fathers.  Our lives tend to mirror our role models.  Help is available if your role model does not reflect the picture of a Dad that you want to display with your children.