Tony’s Cronies in Stump County

We’ve got this guy here in Stump County who decided to get involved in the county now that…well, truth be told, we don’t know why he suddenly decided to get involved. Some folks think he is tryin’ to stay away from his wife but that’s what huntin’ and fishin’ is for.

Whatever his reason he got tied up with the Mouf brothers. You might remember them, they are twins. One is Lowd and the other is Fowl.

Both of them are just unhappy. They don’t like anything or anybody or anything anybody else has done.  So Tony and the Mouf brothers and a couple of other folks got together to complain about stuff.

Last night at the Sneezeville town council meeting they were upset about the outhouses.  Last year the town outhouse overflowed. Folks were unhappy. The town council decided to build a new one. They debated how deep and how big. They debated single holers versus two- and three-holers. They debated cutting the crescent moon in the door. They debated which kind of wood, the pitch of the roof, the kind of shingles and the type of hinges. They even decided that since a lot of folks here in Stump County hunt to paint quail-hunting dogs on the doors. One is a pointer, the other a setter.

They had public meetings. They discussed building three outhouses after they heard that in the real world some places are doing that. They finally decided on building two with the theory that if you identify as being the Queen of England once you shut the door you can be anybody you like.

After the holes were dug and the outhouses were built Tony and his cronies showed up to complain.

The town council voted that since it is impossible to undig a hole and expensive to rebuild the outhouses they would leave them like they are.

Most of Stump County agrees. If you want to be involved in the decisions, do it when the decisions are being made, not after the project is finished.

ppp

Trying to contact Half Whitt? Emaill him at half_whitt@yahoo.com.