Struggling Against Sleep

I was thinking recently about how many of the first-time parents I mentored would say to me, “She won’t go to sleep at bedtime no matter what I do,” referring to their youngsters.

Sound familiar?  I may have been a most fortunate mommy, because all three of mine were ready for bedtime early almost every evening.  I’ve wondered why my experiences with bedtime were so different from those of most of the families with whom I served.

It has occurred to me that my three woke early and I would start my day whatever time that happened to be.  I would give them a good breakfast, get them dressed for the day, and we would play, never forgetting that play is a child’s work.  Don’t misunderstand, I certainly was not always ready to wake and begin my day so early.  Certainly there were groans at times when I heard the first sounds from the wee one long before the sun was up.

I planned activities throughout the day to assist in development, but also to make each child’s day a happy and fulfilling one.  I would involve the child in age-appropriate ways in helping me with necessary chores: dusting, mopping, vacuuming, washing dishes, gathering clothes for the wash, folding, picking up toys and books, etc.

I made sure they got lots of fresh air and sunshine, weather permitting.  They would help with yard work, too, picking up acorns, raking, watering flowers along with painting the steps with water, blowing bubbles, running with streamers made of crepe paper, riding on toys, chasing each other and, at times, their own shadows.

Once it was time for fixing supper, they would play inside or help with meal prep.  With the meal completed, they would have a long bath.  After baths, it was time for reading a book or two (or three…).  I would typically notice eye-rubbing and yawns as we finished a few books.  Good night hugs and kisses and prayers were followed by lights out.

So, what was different about the day for my children and those frustrated moms whose children refused to settle at a proper bedtime?  For one thing, I got up with my children.  I realized that they’d been asleep for about 12 hours and were not only ready for their day to begin, but were hungry!

There was a routine around bedtime.  After a while, their little internal clocks made note of this agenda and by the time they were sharing books, their eyelids were getting very heavy.  I then had the evening to spend with the rest of the family and to attend to things that may not have been done during the busy day.

Don’t make the mistake of thinking that children should be born knowing how to live their days…and nights.  They learn this as they live, and as we parent.  When we make the decision, responsibly or otherwise, to have a child, we give up the right to live our lives the way we want all the time.  The rewards for your sacrifices far outweigh any inconveniences.  Happy gentle parenting.

©2015 Brenda Holland-Robinson