IQ Don’t Mean Nuthin’

Well, drat my cats if I didn’t stir up some fuss in the real world last week. It seems like some real folks took exception to my article on Roids and Rangs here in Stump County.  Seems like some folks thought it was directed at them.

I don’t know if everything in the real world is like Stump County but if you thought it was about YOU it probably was.  If you moved back home because you can’t make a living somewhere else you are a Rang. If you think you are superior to those who stayed and survived where you couldn’t and you are trying to change things without all of the information you are also a Roid.

If you think your opinion is important just because it is yours, you are a Roid.  Here in Stump County we value facts. I once heard a Roid pompously state, “I only associate with smart people.”  We may be backwards here in Stump County but we don’t value IQ above knowledge.

Even hicks know smart isn’t as important as what you know.  You can have an IQ in the genius range and not be able to do anything worthwhile.

For that matter what you know may not be useful depending on where you are.  Let’s say you move to Stump County with your PhD. in Rocket Science. Your IQ exceeds the combined IQs of the loafers sitting on the porch in front of Ludd’s Local Likkers and Libations.

Now, unless your Mama and Papa left you a bucket of money or you brought one with you, you still have to survive.  You are going to have to ask one of those “ignant” loafers when to plant, how to kill hogs and how to crick-wash and stump whip the chittlin’s. You may be smarter but they have more useful local knowledge. Seems to me a smart man would realize that.

Also seems to me that a genius rocket scientist maybe should have realized there just ain’t no rockets in Stump County ‘fore he moved here.

If I need a skunk trapped, I call on Trapper. If I need likker made, I go see Ludd. If I need honey, I don’t try to get it myself, I get someone good with an ax to cut the tree and someone good with bees to get the honey.  Doesn’t matter how smart they are, it is all about what they know how to do.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that most people think they are smarter than they really are. In fact, 70 percent of people surveyed in the real world believe they are of above average intelligence.

Here in Stump County we don’t have IQ’s. At least not numbers. We range from “dumb as a box of rocks” to “not smart enough to get in out of the rain” to “not the sharpest knife” to “right dern sharp.” We even had one man who was “sharp as a razor”-but he died.

“Leroy may be dumb but he sho c’n split rails” is considered a compliment here.

That’s one thing about the Roids. Even the dumbest “box of rocks” in Stump County is smart enough to know not to move somewhere they don’t know much about and then start demanding changes without getting some facts first.