Half Whitt for President

It is with great reluctance that I have agreed to run for President. It is a nasty job but someone has to do it. My main reason is if someone wants to be president they are automatically unqualified for the job.

What finally convinced me was Little Big. LB said, “Look Half, whichever candidate wins this election we are going to have a half-wit for President. At least you are a real Half Whitt.”

I wanted to run as a Libertarian but they already have a pretty good candidate and they won’t support an imaginary person.

My Platform is going to be basic Stump County Country boy.

I will not lie to you. According to Stump County ethics a lie is when you say something you know isn’t true. In Stump County a liar is considered worse than a murderer.  “I did not have sex with that woman” was a lie. “I did not misuse my email server” was a lie. “I was under fire in someplace” was a lie. I can list thousands of lies told by politicians currently serving in office. I would support immediate firing or impeachment for any public official who lies.

When I am wrong I will admit it. There is nothing wrong with being wrong as long as you fix your mistake as soon as possible and admit it.

If I don’t know I will say I don’t know.

The Federal Gov’mit should be as small as possible. In fact, the only thing the Feds should do is national defense, Postal Service, Interstate Highways, National Parks and National monuments and buildings.

I will support States Rights. Excluding the above each state should be autonomous. Alexis De Tocqueville in his 1835 book Democracy in America called us “the Great American Experiment.”  With 50 different experiments we can find out what works best and what doesn’t work. If one state goes broke it should have to change to one of the successful models.

I will support a flat tax that taxes everything you buy and nothing you earn. Eventually you are going to spend your money. The Gov’mit can get a share then.

The Constitution contains 4543 words including signatures. The Ten Commandments can be summarized is fewer than 50 words. One of the few new laws I will sign is one that limits all laws to fewer than 4543 words. In addition, anytime the Supreme Court offers a split decision it means a law was poorly written. If the experts disagree then something is wrong with the law. That law should be rewritten or eliminated.

I will support campaign finance reform that prohibits anyone from donating to any candidate for whom they cannot vote. Since corporations and businesses can’t vote they shouldn’t donate.

I will support personal liberty. If what you do doesn’t hurt anyone else, you should be able to do it. However, you should remember actions have consequences and you should also be free to suffer the consequences.

Email me at HalfWhitt@SouthsideMessenger.com Those nice folks at the Messenger in the real world will pass it on. They keep telling me I need a Web page. If I find out what it is and get one I’ll let you know.