Empty Box

A grown man cynical about marriage, twice divorced, said to me over lunch, “Romance is like a deck of cards. To make a marriage you need two hearts and a diamond. Three years later you need a club and a spade.”

Ah, but I tell young men and women contemplating matrimony that marriage is like a box. We think if we can just climb in the wedding box we’ll have bliss—-all the warmth, long talks, romance, sexual intimacy, and fulfillment we so long to own.

Yet the big surprise of marriage is that the box is empty. The only thing in it is what the husband and wife bring with them.

But here is the good news: If your marriage box twosome lacks good communication, go get it! If it lacks forgiveness, learn it and bring it home. If your relationship is barren of romance it’s because the two of you are immature. So grow up in how to keep romance alive.

This generation is failing at marriage like a dry cloud in a drought. But that doesn’t mean we cannot learn.

We profit by more good books, video studies, church support groups, counselors, good examples, and biblical insights readily available than any generation has ever had. So, if we are ignorant, it’s only because we have not done our homework.

I told my cynical friend who’d started with two hearts and a diamond and now wanted a club and a spade that what he needed was to play with a full deck. “If you treat your wife like a queen, you’ll get to be a king.”

Are you ready to go get it?

The Reverend Stephen Crotts is pastor of Village Presbyterian Church in Charlotte Court House, VA. He is also the director of the Carolina Study Center, Inc., a campus ministry, located in Chapel Hill, NC. Pastor Crotts may be reached at carolinastudycenter@msn.com.