Dressed to Greet, Smoky Memories and Putting On

This weekend we’ll be going to my high school reunion and I’ll see some people I haven’t seen since the last reunion. It’s always nice to see where they are in their lives and what they’re doing.

I had just assumed I would be wearing my jeans and tee-shirt. I was wrong. Last weekend two of the brats took my bride Management shopping. That always suits me. What I didn’t expect was they took the opportunity to attempt to upgrade ME. I now have a new pair of khaki or tacky (or whatever they’re called) pants and a shirt that matches. Most folks have never seen me that dressed up. If I look in the mirror I’ll probably think there is an intruder in the house and shoot the mirror. On the other hand, I like making Management happy and if going to a reunion incognito is what she wants it’s a small thing to do.

I suppose I am also expected to pretend I am employed and successful. I’m told that is what reunions are for. If I have time I think I’ll have some business cards printed.

Averett Jones, Dealer in Quality Scrap Metal, Stuff and Accidental Antiques and Collectibles.

That sounds better than Janitor at the Southside Messenger. I once had some printed that read, “Averett Jones, Beekeeper, Husband, Father and Fool” but for some reason Management didn’t like them.

Now is probably the time for a couple of high school reminisces. I may be the only person who actually remembers them. Some of those involved have developed selective amnesia and some others actually forgot. I suspect some of the high school activities are responsible for the memory loss but I don’t remember.

One year several of us were responsible for selling yearbook ads. We were great at selling ads. We left every day at lunch, sold a few ads, had a picnic and went home. The only negative was at the end of the ad selling season we had a bill at one of the local country stores for several hundred dollars. We will not discuss this bill but it took us the rest of the year to pay it off.

Some students went to ball games (this was long before cell phones) to find someone to leave the game with. Then we had to find out the score before the next morning when our parents asked, “How was the game? Who won?”

There were parties under Monster Bridge, pitching quarters in the bathroom and way back then there was even a smoking porch at school. Two smoking porches actually. There was one for girls and one for boys. I never thought about it until now but I guess that the administration thought if boys and girls smoked together they would (who knows what went on in their heads?) but apparently they thought something bad might happen.

Co-ed smoking!!! No wonder the world’s going down hill. In fact. co-ed smoking just might come in handy if I ever decide to make excuses for something I’ve done or am planning on doing.

There was one guy who sort of hung around and sold individual hand-rolled cigarettes and I think he sold Brunswick stew. He was always talking about having great pot. I don’t think he will be at the reunion. The last I heard he was working in a restaurant somewhere. I heard he was “serving eight to twelve.”