Do we really need a jail?

I think I just figured out how Stump County suddenly got a jail. In the real world judges are forcing Counties to build new courthouses and jails.  In order to pretend he is real, Judge Judge must have ordered Officer Bustah Butts to build an unneeded new jail for the taxpayers to support.

Things were working fine without a jail. Judge would sentence someone to jail. They would go down to the boarding house and check in. It was sort of on the honor system. Nanny brought them three meals a day and they could have visitors come stand at the door twice a week. Otherwise they had to stay in the room with the door shut.

Anybody that snuck in drugs or booze or left the door open when it was supposed to be closed was sent to a real jail. It worked fine. Real criminals broke the rules and were sent to a real jail. The rest learned “stone walls do not a prison make” and didn’t do anything to go back.

Everyone here in Stump County is concerned about the environment. We live here, we make a living here and we like it here. We are even concerned about the world. It would be sort of sad if Stump County was an environmental paradise and there wasn’t a world for it to sit on.

Yo Mama’s Department of the Interior is giving out permits to build solar and wind energy projects on publicly owned land like a clown gives out those little animals made of balloons except the clown has to spend a little time deciding what animal each kid wants.

It looks like all you have to do to get a permit is call it “Green Energy.” If you want to drill a hole in the ground and pump out that dirty oil it will take you years but if you want to plant large ugly windmills and solar panels in a desert you can get on the fast track. There are 19 million acres of public land that are available for “Green Energy” applications. Apply now; it’s free – you might even be able to get a few hundred million dollars to get started.

I think renewable energy is a great idea. I even tried to get a patent on a little generator driven by hand or foot to operate computers. It would save millions in energy, keep those who work at computers healthier and save on healthcare costs. Exercise stimulates the brain so they would be more productive. I even had a guy build me one out of an old bicycle generator. Computers operate on 12 volts so it was a natural fit. Total cost $8.00 to save between $15 and $30 dollars a month. And saving Stump County and the Earth is a bonus.

There just has to be a downside to dotting the landscape with solar panels and wind turbines even if it is just the roads that have to be built to move in the materials. The question is why aren’t the environmentalists and the Department of the Interior raising the same cane and demanding the same studies they would if I wanted to drill an oil well in my yard. Surely politics isn’t the reason.