Anybody seen Grant?

We have been trying to find out who Grant is and how we can get in touch with him. There may actually be more than one of him in which case we’ll take whichever one we can find.

We don’t know anything about Grant except he does things and pays for things. You can’t pick up a newspaper or go to a bored Supervisor meeting or a town meeting or a meeting of almost any kind without someone bringing up Grant.

“It won’t cost us anything, we can get a Grant to do it.” I just noticed it is always “a Grant” so there must be a bunch of them. There must also be some identical twin Grants because sometimes they talk about “matching Grants.”

If we could just find a couple of the Grants we could really make some changes in Stump County.  We could dig a town well for Sneezeville. We could fence the county lake. We could hire Officer Bustah Butts a deputy, we could put up road signs, we could fill the potholes, we could run electricity and telephone lines and we could….. Heck, we could do lots of things if we just had a Grant to pay for it.

Then we got to thinking. Where does Grant get all of the money he gives away?

It don’t matter if he is as rich as Bill’s gate. As much money as he gives away it’s got to run out sometime. There is a bottom to every bucket no matter how big it is. Even the ocean has a bottom.

Well, we did some checking. This Grant doesn’t have any money. In fact, Grant ain’t even a real person. Grant is just a name for a Gov’mit program that, like all of the other Gov’mit programs, takes money from the folks who earn it and gives it to folks who don’t.

We had a vote and decided Stump County is better off if we stay away from Grant and his stolen money.