A Little Humor

As the world slowly returns to partly normal, this reporter thought her readers would enjoy a little humor for those of you who are still quarantined.

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary so he decided to buy her a cell phone.  He showed her the phone and explained to her all of its features.  She was excited to receive the gift and simply adored her new phone.  The next day when she went shopping, her phone rang and to her astonishment, it was her husband on the other end.

“Hi, honey,” he said, “how do you like your new phone?” She replied, “I just love it. It’s so small and your voice is clear as a bell, but there’s one thing I don’t understand though.”  “What’s that?” he asked.  “How did you know that I’m at Walmart?”

WIFE:  “There is trouble with the car.  It has water in the carburetor.”

HUSBAND:  “Water in the carburetor? That’s ridiculous.”

WIFE:  “I tell you that the car has water in the carburetor!”

HUSBAND:  “You don’t even know what a carburetor is.  I’ll check it out. Where’s the car?”

WIFE:  “In the pool.”

A wife asks her husband, “Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get six.”  A short time later, the husband comes back with six cartons of milk.  The wife asks him, “Why did you buy six cartons of milk?”  He replied, “They had avocados.”  (Now, if you’re a woman, I’m sure you’re going back to read it again!  Men will get it the first time.) 

A husband and wife had an argument.  The wife called up her mom and said, “He fought with me again so I’m coming to live with you.”  Mom said, “No, darling. He must pay for his mistake.  I’m coming to live with you.”

Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation toward the local swimming pool.  I gave him a glass of water!

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

I find it ironic that the colors of red, white, and blue stand for freedom until they are flashing behind you.

AND, today’s short reading from the Bible from Genesis: “And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth.”  THEN, He made the earth round…..AND HE laughed and laughed and laughed.

May your troubles be less, your blessings be more, and nothing but happiness come through your door.