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Helpful Habits

   Written by on August 24, 2022 at 2:01 pm
Cheryl Gowin and Dennis Gowin.  Call us at our counseling practice with your feedback, comments, issues, or questions at 434-808-2637.

Slogging through your teen years?  Is trying to please people, fitting in, and wanting to succeed in school overwhelming you?  Do you think it would be nice if there was an easier way to tackle “it”?  Let’s look at Sean Covey’s advice from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens

The first obstacle in being a highly effective teen is understanding how you picture yourself.   The story of Prince Louis XVII exemplifies how our self-picture influences our actions.  The tale goes that after killing the King, the rebels wanted Prince Louis to deny his right to be King.  Taken to a far-away location, they offered him a range of unhealthy temptations, including food, drugs, alcohol, and prostitutes, in exchange for denying his royal origin.  He didn’t give in to the temptations.  When asked why he refused, he responded, “I cannot do what you ask, for I was born to be a king.”  His self-picture helped him overcome his torments. 

Sean Covey writes, “Before you’ll ever win in the public arenas of life, you must first win the private battles within yourself.  All change begins with you.”   We are often our own worst enemy and get in our own way.  The truth is, everyone is capable; we were all born to be something.  We have to decide to be who God made us to be.  Think about yourself like an emotional bank account.  You make deposits and withdrawals from your personal emotional bank account by what you think, say, and do.  How is your bank account balance, loaded or empty?  How much trust and confidence do you have in yourself?  

You can tell when you have a low account balance.  You give in to peer pressure; you feel worthless and inferior; you’re overly concerned about others’ opinions; you act out to hide your insecurities; you self-destruct; you self-medicate; you get jealous quickly.

Compare this with symptoms of a healthy emotional account balance.  You stand up for yourself; resist peer pressure; you’re not overly concerned with popularity; you see life positively; you trust yourself; you set goals; you are happy when others succeed.

You have the power to make daily deposits and change.  How?  Say positive things about yourself, keep promises, forgive yourselves and others, be honest, and recognize your steps toward your goals. 

Here are Sean Covey’s 7 habits of a highly effective teen.  

Habit One.  Be Proactive.  Take responsibility and control of your life.  Take action before problems arrive; enact precautions to avoid preventable road bumps.  For example, plan your study schedule and don’t cram. 

Habit Two.  Begin with the end in mind.  Set goals that reflect your values and objectives.

Habit Three.  Put first thing first.  Do the most important things first; this may not be what you want to do first.  Prioritization teaches proper time management.

Habit Four.  Think Win-win.  Be a team player with an “everyone can win” attitude.  Would others describe you as humble, kind, or willing to share the glory?  An effective teen succeeds without making others feel inferior.

Habit Five.  Seek first to understand and then to be understood.  Listen to people sincerely.  There is a difference between listening and just waiting to talk.  Patience.  Fools rush in!

Habit Six.  Synergize.  Remember the saying, two heads are better than one.  Work together to achieve more by using creative cooperation. 

Habit Seven.  Sharpen the saw.  Renew yourself regularly.  To be effective, you must rest your body and mind.  Your effectiveness decreases as your fatigue increases.  Sharpen the saw means eating a balanced diet, exercising, and getting enough sleep.  Pray and thank God for his plans.  This step renews your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual state.    

Did you notice the first three habits are about achieving private victories and overcoming individual barriers?  The following three habits focus on your interactions with the people around you and achieving public success.  Lastly, the final habit is about keeping yourself healthy.   Remember what Timothy (2 Timothy 1:7) tells us, we have a spirit not of fear but of power, love, and self-control.

Have a great school year!

Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans.  Proverbs 16:3

Cheryl Gowin and Dennis Gowin.  Call us with your feedback, comments, issues, or questions; our phone number is 434-808-2637.

About Cheryl & Dennis Gowin

Cheryl Gowin, Counselor and Dennis Gowin, Director of Discovery Counseling Center. Contact us with your feedback, comments, issues or questions at 434-808-2426 or dgowin@discoverycounseling.org.

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