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Why Did the Chicken go to California? Better Living Conditions

   Written by on September 19, 2013 at 10:49 am

Great jumpin’ catfish and possum stew, I’m in an awkward position here. I’m as upset as a lady of the evening at a tent revival. I’m gettin’ ready to agree with those nutcases in that foreign country called California.

stump countyHere’s the story. Three years ago the voters in California voted for some expensive regulations regarding animal welfare. One of them requires 112 square inches of space for every hen in a laying pen. The folks who raise eggs think about half that is enough.

Now I’m not a big fan of those animal rights nutcases but I am a big fan of democracy. Without even getting into the rightness or wrongness of keepin’ chickens cooped up in little bitty coops the folks out there in the land of fruits and nuts voted to require bigger pens. It’s their wacko state and they should be able to do anything they want to.

Now any capitalist can tell you me and them that bigger pens would mean higher egg prices. That’s fine. That’s democracy. That’s capitalism.

Now they (the Californiables) want to enforce their new law for any eggs brought into California. Well, now every chicken raiser in every other state is saying California is trying to enforce their laws on the rest of us. The fact is all they are saying is if you want to sell eggs to Californiables you have to abide by California law. I could (if I had a car and a radar detector) drive from Florida to Virginia and be legal until I crossed the Virginia line.

What it all boils down to is money. California has 38 million egg-eatin’ folks. With the new laws egg prices are a-gonna go up. Folks that got chickens in Nevada want some of that egg money.

Now a bunch of chicken raisers got their panties in a knot. They are wavin’ the flag and are screamin’ state rights. Californiables are also screamin’ state rights.

Show me somewhere in the constitution where it says folks got a right to sell eggs in California.

Besides there are already a ton of laws that are different between states. Iffen you don’t believe me try going to Washington DC to see your congressman. If you forget to leave your gun at home you’re gonna stay longer than you planned. Take a half a bottle of store-bought likker across any state line and see what happens. Try taking a case or two of cigarettes to one of those high tax states.

What’s supposed to happen is every state tries different things. That way one state can succeed or fail and the rest can learn and the whole dadgum country doesn’t have to crash.

If the folks living in California vote to have chickens raised in living rooms with that there air conditioning what right does a guy in Virginia have to complain?

If the price of California eggs hits a dollar an egg what business is it of anybody else? At 12 bucks a dozen Nevada egg raisers will comply with the law so they can ship to California.

Here in Stump County we’ll just keep letting our chickens run loose.

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