When I Was Your Man

“Same bed but it feels just a little bit bigger now.  Our song’s on the radio but it don’t sound the same.  When our friends talk about you, all it does is just tear me down ‘cause my heart breaks a little when I hear your name.  It all just sounds like ooh, ooh ooh hoo hoo.  Mm, too young, too dumb to realize that I should have bought you flowers and held your hand.  Should have gave you all my hours when I had the chance.  Take you to every party ‘cause all you wanted to do was dance.

Now my baby’s dancing.  But she’s dancing with another man.  My pride, my ego, my needs, and my selfish ways caused a good strong woman like you to walk out my life.  Now I never, never get to clean up the mess I made, oh and it haunts me every time I close my eyes.  Although it hurts, I’ll be the first to say that I was wrong.  Oh, I know I’m probably much too late to try and apologize for my mistakes.  But I just want you to know.

Now my baby’s dancing but she’s dancing with another man.  Although it hurts, I’ll be the first to say that I was wrong.  Oh, I know I’m probably much too late to try and apologize for my mistakes.  But I just want you to know.

I hope he buys you flowers.  I hope he holds your hand.  Give you all his hours when he has the chance.  Take you to every party ‘cause I remember how much you loved to dance.  Do all the things I should have done when I was your man.”

Does Bruno Mars’ song When I was Your Man hit a chord?  If not, are you sure that you aren’t ever going to find yourself connecting with the song in the future?  Are you doing what it takes to keep your wife?  In the song, the husband spells out what he should have done to keep his wife; to pursue, (buy her flowers and do what she likes), to provide (by giving her all his hours) and to protect (by taking her hand).  Yup, that what the Bible gives as the role of husband.

Your role as the PURSUER.  Do you know the story of Jacob?  He worked 14 years to earn the right to marry Rachel.  Proverbs 18:22 states that a man finding a wife is a good thing.  When does your role a pursuer end?  When you say, “I do”?  Well, no.  A husband is to love his wife just like Christ loved the Church.  Christ provided for his followers that included washing their feet and even giving up his life for them.  (John 13:1-17)  And yes, this was after they became followers.

Your role as the PROTECTOR.  Guys, you are told to view your wife as a fragile vase.  (1 Peter 3:7)  Think about your favorite possession, how do you protect it?  Are you giving your wife the same honor, respect, and protection?  Are you sure she feels protected?  Have you asked her?

Your role as the PROVIDER.  Paul, very clearly, without providing an option out, tells us that it is the role of the husband to provide for the family.  (1 Timothy 5:8)  Ask yourself this, do you think first about what you need or what your family needs?  Are you focused on your family’s needs or your needs?  What areas does “providing” include, you ask.  Providing for your wife’s needs includes meeting her financial, physical, emotions and spiritual needs.

Are you providing the three P’s to your wife?  It is a big assignment.  Pursuing, protecting, and providing looks different in each marriage.  You need to talk with your wife and create how this looks in your marriage to meet the needs of your wife.  Or you may be singing … When I was your man.

She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her.  Proverbs 3:15 

Cheryl Gowin and Dennis Gowin, Hope for Tomorrow Counseling Center.  Contact us with your feedback, comments, issues, or questions at 434-808-2637.