We’re Going on a Picnic!

Young children need time to play without direction.  To develop their imaginations.  Your daughter needs to color a horse purple just because it’s her favorite color with no one telling her horses aren’t purple.  Your little guy needs to corral chickens and monkeys in the same pen without being reminded that monkeys are jungle animals and wouldn’t be found on a farm sharing space with chickens.

I recall a visit, on the job, in the home of a parent with an almost four-year-old.  I’d brought with me everything necessary for a pretend picnic: nothing!  This little girl was excited, however confused.  I encouraged her mommy to go on the picnic, too.

I began by asking the child where we would be going for our picnic.  She pointed to the kitchen table.  I admitted we could certainly eat our food at the table but it would probably be much more fun to go somewhere outside.  I then explained that we were going to “play like” (pretend) we were going somewhere else for our picnic.  We talked about some possibilities: near a creek, in a meadow, at a park.  Then it was decided we would get there on bikes.

As we began our trip on pretend bikes rather than on a train, rocket, or in a car.  With my direction, we splashed through puddles, rode over bumpy paths, and peddled hard to make it up a steep hill before arriving at a fun park. When I asked her what she was going to play on first, she did what she had done throughout the activity: she looked at Mommy for help.  Mommy had backed out of the play early on but found it easy to give direction from her comfy seat.

Eventually, we had our picnic.  We placed our apple cores in the trees for the birds.  Trash was placed in garbage cans.  We tossed a ball back and forth.  By the time the visit ended, this sweet child had begun to get the idea that she could have an adventure in her own home just by pretending, or “playing like.”

I encouraged Mom to play this type game with her child often and to give her time to make her own choices throughout.  It was my hope that a whole world would open up to this child who rarely got out of her home.

The family moved and I was unable to locate them, but I have confidence that even if her mommy never “played like” with her, she learned how to pretend to play out all kinds of scenarios once she had the idea.

Allow your child to have the freedom to express who he is without criticism.  He will figure out soon enough that horses aren’t purple and monkeys don’t live on farms.  And should he tell you an outlandish story, don’t tell him it isn’t true or that he’s lying, tell him it’s a super story and offer to write it down so he can “read” it to daddy later!  Happy Parenting!

© 2013 Brenda Holland-Robinson