‘Twas The Month After Christmas

So many zumba classes, so many WW weigh-ins, so many people jogging or walking, and so many recipes for losing weight is an indication to this reporter that most of America is trying to lose a few pounds.

Ten years ago, this reporter shared the following poem that had been emailed to her by several folks.  All information indicate “author unknown” and once more, I want my readers to enjoy the following poem that will probably hit home for many.

‘Twas the month after Christmas and all through the house

Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.

The cookies I’d nibbled, the good eggnog to taste

All the holiday parties had gone to my waist.

When I got on the scales, there arose such a number!

When I walked to the store (less a walk, more like a lumber)

I remember the marvelous meals I’d prepared;

The gravies and sauces and beef “nicely rared.”

The candy and cookies, the bread and the cheese

And the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please”.

As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt

And prepared once again to do battle with dirt—

I said to myself, as only I can

“You can’t spend a winter disguised as a man!”

So, away with the last of the sour cream dip;

Get rid of the fruitcake and every cracker and chip!

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished

‘Til all the additional pounds have vanished.

I won’t have a cookie—-not even a lick.

I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.

I won’t have hot biscuits or cornbread or pie,

I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I’m hungry, I’m lonesome and life is a bore—

But isn’t that what January was for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot,

Happy February to all and to all a good diet!

DIET? DID I SAY DIET?? WHAT DIET??  (heh,heh,heh…..)