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The State of Dis Union in Stump County

   Written by on August 14, 2015 at 10:46 am

It looks like poor old Luther Ledbetter is getting ready to get in trouble…again.   Luther just got out of jail…again.  You always hear about criminals and the revolving door to the jails and Luther is a perfect example.  He gets out, they say he hasn’t learned his lesson and back he goes.

logo - stump countyIt’s interesting, but Luther does learn something.  He’s never been locked up twice for the same crime.  There ought to be some way to help keep him out, but the fact is he is keeping bad company.

Years ago, Luther decided the U.S. Gov’mit was the biggest business in the world.  They spend more money, have more employees and own more land than any other ten companies on earth. He also noticed that each state is the biggest employer in that state. That was when he decided to start a business based on what the Gov’mit does.

First he set up a retirement plan based on Social Insecurity.  He promised to pay people whatever they were earning if they would give him part of their paychecks.  Then he spent all of that running the business and paying his employees.  When folks started retiring he was paying them with money from new folks joining his plan.  The police charged him with running a Ponsi Scheme and put him in jail.

 When he got out of jail, he noticed the State of Virginia was doing a booming business selling likker.  He went to Tennysee and got Popcorn Sutton to teach him to make likker.  The next thing he knew they had him back in the federal pen.

When he got out that time he decided maybe he just tried to be too big, so he set up a little lottery and they got him again for illegal gambling

The last time all he did was sell the rights to drill for oil in a state park.  He saw an ad that said, “The state parks belong to all of us,” so he thought if he owned it he could sell it. Well, he was wrong again.

The bad thing was he got out of jail just two days before Yo Mama’s state of dis union address. Like I said, he trusts all politicians, and the bigger they are, the more he trusts them.

Luther’s problem is he looks at the big picture.  Yo Mama was talking about balancing the Federal budget and everybody seemed to like the idea.  What Luther got out of that speech was he should borrow every dollar he could borrow and spend every dollar he could get and go as far in debt as he could.  Then he could talk about balancing his budget and he would be a hero.

He says it worked for Prez Shrub.  Then Yo Mama took it to a new level and is now saying the same thing Shrub and some others were saying.

We all tried to tell him it would be easier to balance his budget if he skipped the borrowing and spending binge at the beginning but he won’t listen.  Little Big told him Yo Mama is doing what most of us do with credit.  We borrow and spend all we can and then we start preaching about balancing the budget.

LuCindy Roundheels told him political prostitution was the second oldest business on earth and he should leave it to the professionals. She said amateurs were damaging both her business and that of the political prostitutes and he should get an honest job.

Luther isn’t going to listen.  He is already working on his balanced budget speech.  “As soon as I spend everything I can, then I am going to balance my budget except for housing, cars, food and vacations.”

I think he took that line from the state of dis union address.

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