The Snowflake Test: “Most people suck”

A company in New England called  The Silent Partner Marketing has instituted an employment test called the snowflake test to ”find candidates who fit the culture of the company—and to weed out “whiny, needy, entitled little brats” according to Chief Executive Kyle Reyes. Reyes says, ‘A snowflake is somebody who is going to whine and complain and come to the table with nothing but an entitled attitude and an inability to back their perspective.’

‘Most people suck’ says the CEO. In a YouTube video, Reyes says, “You’re young, you’re ignorant, you’re brainwashed by liberal professors who didn’t tell you that in the real world, the only ‘safe space’ is in your parents’ basement,”.

In the article, Reyes makes clear that his disdain for bad hires spans the generations. “I don’t want most people to work for my company,” he writes. “No, seriously. Most people suck.”

A recent appearance on FOX News brought the company national attention and the outrage of Snowflakes worldwide.

Metro News in England wrote, “A (ridiculously macho) American company has introduced a quiz for applicants – full of questions designed specifically to weed out ‘whiny, entitled millennials’.

This being America, it’s full of crazy stuff about how much you love guns and how patriotic you are – and CEO Kyle Reyes actually seems proud of the fact 60% of applicants drop out after hearing about the test.

Yeah, #MAGA, dude! And whatever else it is that low-IQ Trump supporters like to say!”

Snowflakes have threatened to sue. Snowflakes who think THEY should be employable anywhere are angry. Snowflakes are calling names and criticizing because they think it is wrong for someone to call them names and criticize them.

Below is the Snowflake Test:

1. Outside of standard benefits, what benefits should a company offer employees?

2. What should the national minimum wage be?

3. How many sick days should be given to employees?

4. How often should employees get raises?

5. How do you feel about guns?

6. What are your feelings about employees or clients carrying guns?

7. What are your feelings about safe spaces in challenging work environments?

8. In a creative environment like The Silent Partner Marketing, what do you envision work attire looking like?

9. Should “trigger warnings” be issued before we release content for clients or the company that might be considered “controversial”?

10. How do you feel about police?

11. If you owned the company and were to find out that a client is operating unethically but was a high paying client…how would you handle it?

12. When was the last time you cried and why?

13. You arrive at an event for work and there’s a major celebrity you’ve always wanted to meet. What happens next?

14. What’s your favorite kind of adult beverage?

15. What’s the best way to communicate with clients?

16. What’s your favorite thing to do in your free time?

17. What are your thoughts on the current college environment as it pertains to a future workforce?

18. What’s your typical breakfast?

19. What’s your favorite drink when you go to a coffeehouse?

20. How do you handle bullies?

21. How do you handle it when your ideas are shot down?

22. What do you do if a coworker comes to the table with an idea and it sucks?

23. What does the first amendment mean to you?

24. What does faith mean to you?

25. Who is your role model and why?

26. “You’re in Starbucks with two friends. Someone runs in and says someone is coming in with a gun in 15 seconds to shoot patrons. They offer you a gun. Do you take it? What do you do next?”

27. What does America mean to you?

28. You see someone stepping on an American flag. What do you do?

29. What does “privilege” mean to you?

30. What’s more important? Book smarts or street smarts? Why?