Archives

The Celebration of Easter

   Written by on April 3, 2015 at 1:00 pm

The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity.  Benjamin Franklin

logo-gowin-cheryl-dennisOn Easter around the world, Christians join together to celebrate.  Why?  We celebrate the knowledge that we have hope and a solution for our marred human condition.  We celebrate to rejoice God’s forgiveness of our wrongdoings through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.

Forgiveness.  Everyone wants it.  Everyone needs it.  We know we should forgive others but extending forgiveness to those who have wronged us isn’t so easy.

Every day we are presented with the opportunity to practice forgiveness.  A young pilot intentionally downs a plane taking the lives of all the passengers.  ISIS makes a video of ruthless killings.  The company cuts salaries.  Your mother-in-law makes a low blow statement about how you are raising your children.  Your spouse does something completely insensitive.

Forgiveness comes with many misunderstandings.  For some saying ‘I forgive you,’ really means, ‘I will forgive you as soon as my feelings change’ or ‘I will forgive you as soon as I forget what you did’ or ‘I’ll forgive you, I just don’t want anything to do with you anymore.’

Granting forgiveness is an event.  Carrying out forgiveness is a process.  Although we may look for shortcuts, forgiveness is a process that requires work.  The work of forgiving can walk you through periods of anger, tears, and for some of us some fist-shaking at God.

Many of us try to bypass the forgiveness process altogether.  We try to avoid forgiving and the emotions that are part of the process.  Stuffing emotions is very common; regrettably stuffed emotions will eventually explode.  The explosion can be road rage, out of control outbursts at our family, or use of alcohol or drugs to help keep the emotions stuffed.  These explosions are not healthy or helpful.

This is a true story about Steven McDonald, a young police officer who forgave a teenager for shooting him.

McDonald writes about this event.  “When the surgeon came into my room to tell me the extent of my injuries, my wife, Patti Ann, was there, and he told her I would need to be institutionalized.  We had been married just eight months, and Patti Ann, who was 23 at the time, was three months pregnant.  She collapsed to the floor, crying uncontrollably.  I cried too, though I was locked in my body, and unable to move or to reach out to her.  Six months later Conor, my son was born.  To me, Conor’s birth was like a message from God that I should live, and live differently.  And it was clear to me that I had to respond to that message.  I prayed that I would be changed, that the person I was would be replaced by something new.

That prayer was answered with a desire to forgive the young man who shot me.  I wanted to free myself of all the negative, destructive emotions that his act of violence had unleashed in me: anger, bitterness, hatred, and other feelings.  I needed to free myself of those emotions so that I could love my wife and our child and those around us.  I forgave [the shooter] because I believe the only thing worse than receiving a bullet in my spine would have been to nurture revenge in my heart.”

Medical research supports the healing process of forgiveness.  The Journal of Behavioral Medicine highlighted two studies.  In these studies when participants thought forgiving thoughts, their heart rate and blood pressure decreased.  Studies have also shown forgiveness results in a reduction in anger, negative thoughts, anxiety, depression, grief, and a decrease in substance abuse.

This Easter join in the Celebration and begin the forgiveness process.

Jesus said. Father, forgive them for they know not what they do. Luke 23:34.  Forgive each other just as Christ has forgiven you.  Ephesians 4:32

Cheryl Gowin and Dennis Gowin, Hope for Tomorrow Counseling Center.  Contact us with your feedback, comments, issues, or questions at 434-808-2637. 

About Cheryl & Dennis Gowin

Cheryl Gowin, Counselor and Dennis Gowin, Director of Discovery Counseling Center. Contact us with your feedback, comments, issues or questions at 434-808-2426 or dgowin@discoverycounseling.org.

Connect

View all Posts

Leave a Reply