The Agony of de Feet

“The time has come,” the Walrus said,

  “To talk of many things:

Of shoes — and ships — and sealing-wax —

      Of cabbages — and kings….”

…and my feet!

I just realized I have neglected to thank the kind people who are worried about my bare feet.   Thank you for your concern.  Usually no one cares what I do or what happens to me. Thanks. There are two kinds of folks out there regarding my feet.  There are the ones who are curious.  They ask questions.  Most of us bare-footers don’t mind. We understand it isn’t typical or normal to wander around with our feet ‘au naturel’.  We understand you may be curious.  What we don’t understand are the folks who get mad.

Surely you have more important issues in your life than my feet. Surely my feet don’t injure you in any way.  Well, unless you really make me mad. Now, I am curious. Why are you so fascinated with my feet?  Do you have some sort of weird feet fetish?

So here are the answers to the reasonable questions:

I barefoot because I like to barefoot. That’s it. I’m not proving a point. I am not making a statement.  I am not doing anything but not wearing shoes.

Aren’t your feet cold?    No, if they get cold I put on shoes.

You will get pneumonia.  Maybe but not from bare-footing. Pneumonia is caused by germs.

Your feet have to be cold. No, they aren’t.  My head is cold. Shoes don’t help my head. I wear a stocking cap for that.

You will hurt yourself.  Maybe, but that is my choice.  Besides, bare-footers watch where we step. We don’t hurt our feet because we are careful where we walk.

It is unsanitary. Why? What can I possibly track into a building that I wouldn’t track into the building with shoes on?  Besides, shoes hold more stuff than bare feet.

There are laws against that.  No, there are no laws in Virginia regarding bare feet. There are laws, however, regarding public cursing and spitting on the streets and sidewalks.  There are laws regarding adultery and laws against drinking in public and public intoxication.  And there are thousands of laws that shouldn’t be laws but there are no laws in Virginia regarding bare feet.

What about “No shirt, no shoes, no service”? That is something a business can do if they like. I am happy to take my business elsewhere.  On the other hand, it would be illegal for any local, state or federal entity to refuse to admit me for no shoes.

You can sue me if you get hurt. Not in Virginia. Virginia has a law called contributory negligence. If I get hurt and I am even partially responsible I can’t sue.  You have to worry more about slips and falls and high heels than bare feet.

Others are concerned for some unknown reason. My bare feet make them mad.  I’m sorry for that. I don’t barefoot to annoy you. I barefoot because I want to and annoying you is just an added benefit.

I don’t want to hurt your feelings but I didn’t even consider what you might think when I decided not to wear shoes.  In fact, your opinion doesn’t affect me at all.

Frankly, it isn’t any of your business.  But I am delighted that my feet are so important to you that you have posted them on your Facebook.  I hope it goes viral for you. (See more facebook comments on www.southsidemessenger.com)

My favorite comment is that my bare feet are disrespectful.  Disrespectful to whom? This comment is most often made by people who complain about various elected officials (mostly behind their backs) but who think I should show respect by wearing shoes.

I have even been told I should pray about wearing shoes.  My answer to that is my mother prayed about my bare feet. God told her he had the same problem with his son.

~ Averett Jones