- Charlotte County
- Local News
- Lunenburg County
- Other News
- Police & Fire
- Prince Edward County
- The Word
- Top Story
Last night I snuck out of Stump County to the real world and watched the vice-presidential debates on one of those televisions. I’ve got to tell you those televisions are amazing things. We don’t have anything like it here in Stump County.
Not that I would change anything. We can look at the stars. Let me tell you, Stump County stars are brighter and there are more of them. Come dark in Stump County it is dark. You might see a few candles in a window or a fire on a hill where folks are fox or coon huntin’ but nothing to mess up the stars.
In your world you can look in all four directions and it looks like the sun is coming up from all of the lights over the towns. It is sort of pretty but it dims the stars and you haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen a Stump County sunrise or sunset.
While I was out I got to visit with my friend Averett in the real world. He’s an odd guy. Did you know he doesn’t own a television? Maybe that’s why he can visit Stump County. He sent me to visit a friend of his to watch the debates.
As far as the debates went all I can say is the way we do it in Stump County is better. We fill two socks with horse manure, give one to each candidate, put them in a ring and let them sling that stuff as much as they like. The one with the least stuff sticking after the slinging is the winner.
When it comes to, uh, stuff-slinging, the candidates in the real world seem to be professionals. Still we’d like to see them slinging the real stuff and see how they do.