Stolen Watermelons, Grand-Brat Attack & Unnamed Fights Back

A few weeks ago one of my co-workers, Rose Allie, wrote about Earl’s giant watermelon in Charlotte Court House. Keeping in mind that I understand the “worker” part, co-workers may be incorrect in my case. The fact is, Rose wrote about the melon several times as she watched it grow. It was a spectacular melon.

Last week Earl called me. It seems someone (not me) stole his melon. That is not to say I would not have considered “liberating” his melon but I did not. Frankly, I wasn’t in town that day and besides, I didn’t think it was ripe.

Stealing watermelons is becoming a lost art. As Mark Twain once wrote, “Yes, I stole it. Yet why use so harsh a word? It was the biggest of the load on a farmer’s wagon standing in the gutter in the old town of Hannibal, Missouri. While the farmer was busy with another – another – customer, I withdrew this melon. Yes, ‘I stole’ is too strong”

Twain went on to say that the melon he “retired” wasn’t ripe. He then realized the enormity of the sin and decided restitution was required. SO he returned the melon and demanded restitution from the farmer.

We are in a similar situation here. Earl was waiting for his melon to ripen. He says you have to wait until the vine turns brown before picking them. His melon was a few days from being ready to pick when someone “extracted” it.

Earl’s concern is whether it was ripe. If you are the person who “protected” it from less deserving unscrupulous people, give me a call. All we want to know is was it good? If it wasn’t I’ll contact Earl on your behalf and demand restitution.

This weekend I misplaced my new unnamed cat who has been temporarily named Unnamed. She has been doing fine and adjusting nicely. Then we had all of the Brats and Grand-brats for the weekend. The Grand-brats saw the kitten and went running to play with her.

From the kitten’s point of view two large noisy creatures were attacking her. She wisely headed for the tall timber. She stayed gone until dark. Then when she returned after spending a day with the wild things that planned on eating her to deal with the wild things in the house she thought were attempting to eat her, she was somewhat nervous.

Management reached down to pick her up without getting her attention first. Unnamed thought a hand from the sky or an owl or some sort of other monster had her. She promptly bit and scratched Management. Keep in mind Management is usually not a screamer; oddly, she does scream when she is bitten.

So Management screamed, Unnamed scratched and bit again and when she (Unnamed) hit the ground she was making tracks for the tall timber again.

After a few hours we had coaxed her (Unnamed cat not Management) into the house again and both of them had settled down.

The son just posted a picture of the Grand-brat sitting on the steps with a stuffed bunny and contemplating the Universe. I was surprised. I’ve never seen that kid when he wasn’t in motion.

The first time I made that comment my entire family laughed at me, rolled their eyes and made rude comments about genetics.

I was working on an article regarding marriage and intended to type marital but somehow martial was what came out. On the other hand considering some of the married couples I know martial may be more accurate.

I’m still working on naming my unnamed cat. I’ve had a few suggestions and a few requests from people who are also having trouble naming cats. Send me your creative and interesting cat names. Averett@southsidemessenger.com. Or call 547-5415

So far Si-a-tee (c-a-t), Wiki and Persa (personal emotional rumination service animal) have been suggested.

The winner with the best name (new or used-I don’t mind stealing names) will receive some sort of valuable prize, either a watermelon like Earl’s, or a copy of Snoozing in a Hurricane, or a cup of coffee or something and they may even be mentioned in Rural Legends.