Senior Citizens Under Attack

I tell you, right here in our own country, we senior citizens are being attacked! We must get together and stop these attacks immediately.

For one thing, have you noticed that the stairs are getting steeper? I get out of breath before I reach halfway up a row of steps.  I know you have realized by now that the groceries we cart home are getting heavier. Why, I could hardly pull them out of the car on Friday.

Yes, and everything is getting farther away. Just yesterday I walked to the corner of the street in our small town and was dumbfounded to discover how long the street has become.

And, you know, people are less considerate now, especially the young ones. They speak in whispers all the time! If you ask them to speak up, they just keep repeating themselves, endlessly mouthing the same silent message until they are red in the face! What do they think I am, a lip reader?

I also think these young folks are much younger than I was at the same age. On the other hand, people my own age are so much older than I am. Recently, I ran into an old friend and she had aged so much that she didn’t even recognize me!

I was thinking about the poor dear while I was combing my hair this morning and in doing so, I glanced at my own reflection. Well, REALLLY NOW, even mirrors are not made the way they used to be!

Another thing, everyone drives so fast these days! You are risking life and limb if you happen to pull onto a four-lane in front of them. All I can say about that is that their brakes must wear out awfully fast, the way I see them screech and swerve in my rear view mirror.

Clothing manufacturers are less civilized these days. Why else would they suddenly start labeling a size 32 waist pant as a 40? Do they think no one notices?

Also, the people who make bathroom scales are pulling that same prank. Do they think I actually ‘believe’ the number I see on that dial? HA! I would never let myself weigh that much! Just who do these people think they’re fooling?

I’d like to call up someone in authority to report what is going on….but the telephone company is in on the conspiracy, too! They’ve printed the phone books in such small type that no one will ever find a number in there.

So, all this reporter can do is to pass along this warning:  Senior Citizens are Under Attack!  Unless something drastic happens, pretty soon everyone will have to suffer these awful indignities.

In the meantime, I will pass along a little advice. God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark. Now, don’t you agree?

Thanks to (you know who you are) for sending me the above story this week.  Just had to share!