Procrastibaking, Snares and Prevention Reports Management

As I sit here looking at February, I’ve finally decided it is time to put those Christmas decorations away and take down the tree. Actually, I probably could leave them out a bit longer since the house did not technically get decorated until the morning of Christmas, right before family came over for lunch. Since many folks put their decorations up immediately after Halloween, I figure I’m still in a decent time window of decoration etiquette. Heck, if you put your decorations up on November 1 and take them down before New Year’s Day, that’s 55-60 days of Christmas. Wow! Now that I think of it that way, I’ve still got another 30 days or so. Except, I think the grandbrats may just drive me crazy with Christmas UN-anticipation. Now when they visit, instead of hearing, “Grand-ma’am, are we going to put the tree up? Are we going to put the tree up? ARE WE GOING TO PUT THE TREE UP?” that I heard a million times in December, I hear, “Grand-Ma’am! When are you going to take your tree down? Why haven’t we taken down the tree, yet? Grand-Ma’am, are you listening?” There’s nothing like procrastination.

Which brings me to a new word I’ve heard recently: procrastibaking. If procrastinating is delaying action until an opportunity is lost, then procrastibaking is delaying action by baking. When I read this word, I knew it had my name all over it. I suspect if the word ever makes it into a dictionary, I will be used as its example. If I’ve got a deadline to meet, you will be sure to find me in the kitchen cranking out a batch of cookies. Does the house need cleaning? Or bills paid? Just look in the kitchen. There’s bound to be a pound cake or pie in the works.

In fact, I suspect procrastibaking is responsible for the most recent slip, trip or fall in our house. (Note the occupational safety lingo inserted there.) Over the last few months, possibly longer, our bedroom has been the dumping ground for all sorts of items. If no one knows where something should be put away, just put it in the bedroom. If friends or family are coming over for a meal, I run through the house picking up toys, shoes, clothes, mail, life jackets, whatever, and dump it in our bedroom. After I drag the door shut, everyone is forbidden to enter.  So, it’s been a while since the bedroom has been decluttered. There are cookies to be baked and new recipes to try after all. But, after the crash during the night this last week, I can procrastinate or bake no longer.

It was in the wee hours of the morning when Faux Pa was making one of his many visits to the bathroom, that I heard him fall to his knees and quietly humpf—I think an attempt not to wake me. I jumped up and flicked on the light to find him perfectly snared by a sports bra that had fallen into the path from a pile of unfolded laundry. Not only did it trip him up, it had him in a hold that most rabbit hunters would envy. Faux Pa did not find it nearly as humorous as I.

As is often the case when an accident or injury happens, I find myself mentally preparing a prevention report. Those are those corporate pieces of paperwork that attempt to identify the who, what, when, where, why of any accident/injury.   It doesn’t matter if anything constructive is accomplished by filling out this report. The purpose is to get it off your desk and onto someone else’s desk ASAP with the appropriate blame placed on anyone but yourself. So, after my fit of giggles, I mentally did a checklist: who: Faux Pa; what: slip, trip, fall; when: wee hours of the morning; where: victim’s living area; why: victim did not visually scan path to identify hazards before proceeding; action plan to prevent this from happening again: prohibit procrastibaking.

So with extra time on my hands now that procrastibaking has been prohibited, I should be able to get those Christmas decorations put away in time for Easter, but I’ve found a YouTube video on tying basic knots. That poacher’s knot might come in handy, but I’ve got a sports bra for that.