One Side Will Make You Grow Taller…

There’s always something going on next door. Last Thursday, The Neighbor mentioned that he had spotted a big patch of bright orange mushrooms on the side of the road. Being the foodie that he is (well, you are), there was nothing to do but go back and harvest a few. “A few” was more like ten pounds in a gathering basket, leaving easily that many more for the next, ah, adventurer.

I was reminded of a man that lived up the street from me when I was growing up. It wasn’t unusual to look out the window in the early morning and see him strolling across anybody’s yard with a basket over his arm. Dad told me he was “picking” mushrooms. I didn’t know enough to ask why at the time; it just sort of made sense considering the man’s personality.

Anyway, The Neighbor checked online and found that there are two mushrooms that match the description of the ones he brought home: one glows in the dark and one doesn’t, basically. He sautéed a few and offered me a taste on the end of a fork – just a tiny piece. Well, he was still upright so far, so I tried it. Sweet and typically mushroomy. The next thing I knew, he had a big plate of pasta liberally laced with slices of the Big Orange Mushrooms, just wolfing it down.

When other friends showed up about half an hour later, they were shown the raw orange mushrooms. Now, I don’t quite understand why this happened but they immediately pinched off pieces of the raw cap and began to chew and nod. “One side will make you grow taller, and the other side will make you grow shorter,” said the Caterpillar to Alice. I watched very closely. They didn’t seem to change at all.

Without going into all of the subsequent details, just let me say first of all that The Neighbor has recovered. Secondly, eating wild mushrooms can kill you, for Pete’s sake! If you intend to hunt for edible mushrooms, know these three on sight if nothing else: amanitas, false morels and a catchall category known as little brown mushrooms. Symptoms of mushroom poisoning can be delayed for up to 12 hours or longer. Symptoms of some poisonous mushrooms can seem to go away but the toxin will remain in your system. Even known, popular edibles can cause an allergic reaction or sensitivity in some people, and there’s no way to know in advance. There are no antidotes for mushroom poisoning. Hospitals can only try to treat the damage from the toxins.

One example of a deadly mushroom is called Destroying Angel (Amanita spp.) and it’s very common in landscapes. It’s a beautiful white mushroom that looks a lot like one of the edible mushrooms. When ingested, it causes diarrhea, nausea and abdominal pain. After a few days, the person typically suffers liver and kidney failure and death, or a liver transplant may be the end result. So leave it to the experts; only eat mushrooms from the grocery store or those you are growing from a known source.

On a whimsical note, another friend has a beautiful fairy ring in her backyard, surrounded by huge white toadstools. The term “fairy ring” is based on the belief that the deep green turf within the ring is the result of a circle of dancing fairies or pixies. Rings are also said to be where the devil churned his butter or the result of a lightning strike.

Fairy rings that actually have mushrooms growing on the circumference appear over buried organic matter in the turf and may survive for years. There may be buried stumps, dead roots or wood left over from construction that serves as a food source for the fungi. Thatch buildup could also be the cause, providing excess organic matter. The reason there is lush green grass in the center is because as the fungi break down, nitrogen is released which acts as fertilizer.

I don’t want to take the fun away from the appearance of fairy rings; in fact, I found that in 13th century English literature one is mentioned as the gateway into the elfin kingdom. You would be considered very lucky to have on in your yard. In France, however, they’re known as sorcerer’s rings and in Germany, it is said that witches dance in the rings, not elves and pixies.

One of the largest fairy rings ever found is still located in France. It’s about 2000 feet in diameter and estimated to be 700 years old!