One of Those Weeks

Cheryl Gowin and Dennis Gowin.  Call us at our counseling practice with your feedback, comments, issues, or questions at 434-808-2637.

Yes, it is official; last week was one of those weeks.  Record heat, a broken air conditioner, a dog who wandered far away from home, several unexpected bills, missed family events, disappointing news, technology that did not work, Sunday School lesson notes left at home, and an infected brown recluse spider bite.  You would think that nothing else could go wrong, but things just keep happening.  A flat tire, a water spigot that would not turn off and inadvertently the uncompleted draft not the final weekly article was sent to the editor.  Thank goodness for an excellent editor who fixed the problem.

Have you had weeks like this?  How do you handle them?  We face many ways of dealing with times in our life when things are not working, and when it seems everything goes wrong.  Some are healthy, some are not.

Have you ever heard the story of Elijah and Jezebel?  Here is the story, briefly.  Jezebel is a bad queen.  Elijah confronts her staff and wins.  Jezebel gets mad and tells Elijah she is going to get even.  Elijah freaks out, runs away to the wilderness and then, he has a pity party.  He is so upset he even thinks about dying.

Let’s look at Elijah, what he did, and what he did not do.

Yes, having a person mad at you and threatening your life is not a position in which any of us want to find ourselves.  However, running away to be by himself did not help Elijah.  When we face a crisis getting help from others is often the best step toward getting through the crisis. Remember, no man is an island.  There is no reason to face life’s struggles alone.  If you are facing a crisis, take a minute and think about who could help.  Just talking with a person about your problems can help you find a solution.

If not a friend, find a support network.  Celebrate Recovery’s groups meet weekly across the United States.  This is a great resource to help you with the struggle you are going through.

Elijah focused on the negative and not what had gone right.  By looking at what was going wrong, Elijah did not see what had helped him succeed in the past.  Our brains tend to look for negatives as a way of keeping us safe.  Looking for dangers so you can avoid harm is healthy, to a point.  Elijah removing himself from Jezebel’s reach was a safe decision.  However, isolating himself and only thinking negative thoughts did not help Elijah see the solution to his problems.  This isolation and negative thinking only caused him to see what he could not do. Negative thoughts can be combated by challenging them. When you find yourself in the depths of negative thoughts, remember what William Shakespeare said:  “Nothing is good or bad, thinking makes it so.”

How hard it is it to find a solution when you only think about what you can’t do.  Joan Disantis’ advice is; “When I am struggling with my life, I look up towards the sky and say, Lord, you take over.”

To find a different example of how to deal with struggles, let’s look at the 23rd Psalm.  This is one of the most quoted Psalms, and it provides an excellent outline for how to deal with the struggles of life.  David is saying, “Yes, my life has struggles.  But even when I think that my life is being threatened, I will not get down.”  David talks about taking time to rest.  He admits that he feels lost; he does not deny or stuff his feelings. He tells us to turn it over to the Lord, who “restores my soul.”   He acknowledges and accepts that life will present him with enemies.  His take away is that there is a way to deal with the struggles of life and not to get down about them.

Which example do you follow when you face struggles?

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.  Psalms 23:4

Cheryl Gowin and Dennis Gowin.  Call us with your feedback, comments, issues, or questions; our phone number is 434-808-2637.