November Is National Caregiver Month

Cheryl Gowin and Dennis Gowin.  Call us at our counseling practice with your feedback, comments, issues, or questions at 434-808-2637.

Do you fit the definition of a caregiver?  A caregiver is anyone who helps a person in need, such as a spouse struggling with an illness, a child living with a disability, or a relative whose age has limited their ability to take care of themselves.  Would you be surprised to hear that more than 44 million Americans fit the definition of caregiver?

Personally, we are the caregiver to a relative who was left paralyzed and unable to speak after a serious stroke.  Yes, caregiving is rewarding but it is also stressful.  For us as well as most caregivers, being there when a loved one needs you is a service you are honored to provide.  However, this role can create a roller coaster of emotions.  It is natural to feel angry, frustrated, exhausted, alone, or sad as a result of your role as a caregiver.  The emotional and physical stress of caregiving can create your own set of health problems. Social isolation, financial difficulties, conflicting demands from family and caregiving, and difficulty solving problems are just some of the aspects of caregiving that can create stress.

There are warning signs that you should be aware of that stress maybe affecting your health: feeling overwhelmed, constantly worried, always tired, changes in sleeping habits, changes in your weight, becoming easily angered, constant state of irritation, frequent headaches, bodily pain or other physical problems.

The emotional and physical demands involved with caregiving can strain even the most resilient person.  So how do you deal with this stress?  Not all by yourself! It is important for you to take advantage of the many resources available to help.  Remember, if you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to care for anyone else.

Be willing to accept help.  This is not a time to be a superhero.  Create a list of ways that others can help you, and when someone asks if they can help, let him or her pick how to help.  For instance, a friend may offer to help and pick from your list reading to your loved one.  How about playing Dominos with your loved one?  Would it help you if a friend mowed your lawn or sat with your loved one while you went to the gym?  Make a list and don’t overlook help from a support group, your church family, or your friends.

Accept what you are able to provide.  It’s normal to feel guilty sometimes, but understand that no one is a perfect caregiver.  Believe that you are doing the best you can and making the best decisions you can at any given time.

Have realistic goals.  Break large tasks into smaller steps that you can do one at a time. Be willing to say no to requests that are beyond your capacity, such as hosting holiday meals.

Be aware of your personal health habits.  For example, set goals to establish a good sleep routine, find time to be physically active, eat a healthy diet, and drink plenty of water.  Many caregivers have issues with sleeping.  Not getting quality sleep over a long period of time can cause health issues.  Make sure you talk with your doctor about problems you are experiencing.

Don’t ignore community programs.  Support groups are a great source of information about community programs that can provide help. One example is the PACE program which offers a program for adults.  The local Agency on Aging can help explain about community services.   It may be hard to imagine leaving your loved one in someone else’s care, but taking a break can be one of the best things you do for your loved one and yourself.

Remember you are not alone, there are others and organizations that can help.  Even if you find it hard to ask for help, this is a good time to overcome this habit.  Your loved one may be depending on you but that does mean you have to do it all.

I lift my eyes to the hills – where does my help come from?  My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth.  Psalm 121:1-2

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Call us with your feedback, comments, issues, or questions; our phone number is 434-808-2637.