Mommy, My Bed is Wet…Again!

What to do? Your child is coming up on his fourth birthday and is still not staying dry at night. You are reluctant to mention this even to your closest friend for fear it will look like you’ve not done your job or worse, that there’s something wrong with your little guy. Our society tends to set hard and fast rules regarding when children should meet this developmental milestone.

As a Family Support Worker, I was often asked by a new mom, before a baby celebrated his first birthday, when she might begin toilet training. That was, many times, followed by a report from her own parent that she potty trained her children by the time they were a year old. I can assure you that a baby isn’t toilet trained by one year of age. Mom, in these cases has trained herself to know when she can remove the diaper and “catch” the urine.

To be considered potty trained, a child needs to be able to recognize when he needs to void, to tell someone he needs to void, get himself to the potty, hold his water while getting there, and can get his training pants or Pull-Ups down, void and get his pants back up. A one-year-old shouldn’t be expected to do this when there are so many age-appropriate milestones he needs to be working on at this age.

I suggest potty training CAN begin very early. When your baby wets or soils his diaper, tell him what he is doing if you are aware. Few adults have ever held a baby and didn’t notice the warm feel as a baby voids his urine or the odor when he soils his diaper. Tell your baby what he is doing. Use words that are comfortable for you or are typical for your own family.

When you change him, show him what is in his diaper while telling him that is where he put his pee-pee or his b.m. This will help him to understand what you want him to put in the potty when the time is right. When he follows you to the restroom (notice I said “when,” not “if”), tell him what you are doing. Let him see what is in the toilet before flushing if you are comfortable doing so. Encourage his daddy to do the same. This is especially important for little boys.

Share age-appropriate books about potty training early on. Tell him that when he is older/bigger, he will have underwear like big boys use. All of this is an important part of toilet training. Should your almost four-year-old be wetting his bed and you or he is bothered by this, keep in mind that we all have our own schedules, but do tell his health care provider so that infections can be ruled out.

NOTE: The Fall 2013 Heartland Early Childhood Education Workshop “Getting Ready for School – From Birth to Kindergarten” is scheduled for Saturday, October 12th from 8:15 a.m. to1:15 p.m. in the Hull Education Building of Longwood University. The registration fee is $10.00 if paid by 9-7-13 ($20 after the 7th). That covers refreshments, materials, and four workshops. Should you attend all four sessions, you will receive four hours professional development. Mail your check made out to VCE-Prince Edward to Virginia Cooperative Extension, P.O. Box 322, Farmville, VA 23901. Be sure to add your address, phone number and (if you have one) your email address if not on your check. The workshops include: Zumba for Children, It’s Not Just Baby Talk, Physical Activity for a Healthy Lifestyle, and Join the CROWD: Reading Aloud Using a Question Strategy.

© 2013 Brenda Holland-Robinson