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Men Are Just Happier People

   Written by on July 23, 2015 at 2:14 pm

The “simplicity” of men, discussed in the snippet below, is what makes them so wonderful to be around. And, it’s what drives men to stay focused on the important things. All they want to do (I mean the good ones) is to protect and provide because they need so little for them- selves. Yet, men have so much to give.

logo- community news & viewsWhat do we expect from such simple creatures? His last name stays put. The garage is all his. Wedding plans take care of them- selves. A wedding dress may cost $5000; tux rental, maybe $100.

Chocolate is just another snack. You can never be pregnant. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too “icky”. You don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

New shoes don’t cut, blister or mangle your feet. You’re in one mood all the time. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks, trucks, cars, etc. A five- day vacation requires only one suitcase. You can open

all your own jars. If some- one forgets to invite you to a gathering, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack. You can’t find that for a woman! And, three pairs of shoes is more than enough for you. You can azget by with one wallet and one pair of shoes (one color) for ALL seasons. You can play with toys all of your life!

You wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife. The same hairstyle lasts for years, even decades.

You, and only you, can do your Christmas shopping in 25 minutes for 25 relatives at noon on December 24th!

If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, David and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman! When the bill ar- rives, Mike, David and John will each throw in $20, even though the bill is only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the

girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators…YEP!!!

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need, but it’s on sale!

A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, bar of soap and a towel. The average number of items in a typical woman’s bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A woman mar- ries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t. A man marries a woman expecting she won’t change, but she does!

A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book and get the mail. A man will dress up for church, wed- dings and funerals.

Men wake up looking as good as they did when they went to bed. Women, on the other hand, somehow deteriorate during the night.

Ah, children! A wom- an knows all about her chil- dren. She knows about dentist appointments, romances, best friends, grades, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house!

AND, a woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument!Remember men, this was all in fun!

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