Jitters

Did you happen to read Julie Danneberg’s book First Day Jitters?  This is a children’s book about being nervous for the first day of school.  Mr. Hartwell is pushing Sarah to get ready for the first day of school; nagging her to get out of bed, to get dressed, to eat breakfast, to get in the car so he can drive her to school.  Sarah is met by the Principal who takes her to her new class and introduces her “Class meet your new teacher Sarah Jane Hartwell.”  Yes, the surprise ending is that the person nervous for the first day of class is the teacher.  Gosh, we as adults have the same feelings as do our kids!

We all can feel anxious when faced with a change in our life.  So are you nervous about your kids going back to school?  In Psalms 57:3, David states, “When I am afraid, I will trust in you.”  He acknowledges he is afraid.  So let’s start with accepting there are times when we are anxious and afraid.  Our kids going back to school is one of those life changes that can bring on anxiety.  Now let’s look at some ways to help.

Our first step is a two-part step.  Part one; recognize we are in change.  The second part is to admit to ourselves that we don’t like change.  Psychologist Robert Zajonc studies support that we stay with what we know.  The Israelites wanted to go back to slavery rather than face of future of unknown change.  Generally, we are more comfortable with what we know.

So, if we are more comfortable with what we know then outline your new routine with the goal in mind of becoming familiar with a new routine.  Sit down and look at how your new day will go.  Think about what you enjoy with you current routine and make sure you include these elements in your new routine.  For example, if you love reading with your daughter, find a time in your schedule to help her with her homework.  You are still getting one on one time, just in a different way.

Look at your schedule and find a way to stay involved with your kids.  We all, children and adults, function better with some level of structure.  Staying involved does become more complicated as your kids get older.  If this is the year your son or daughter goes away to college, this may take a great deal of creativity.  Talk with your soon to be college student about a way and time to communicate.  For example, texting every day may be the best method of communicating.

Put into practice a positive mindset.  What are you telling yourself about this fall and kids going back to school?  Are you dreading your kids going to school?  Are you thinking about all the negatives?  What we think affects what happens.  Dennis loves sports.  It amazes me how the players in all sports talk about their focus before and during an event.  They are always thinking about what they want to happen, keeping a positive mindset.

Enjoy today; sounds simple right?  Yes, but there are times we get so worried about tomorrow that we forget about today.  Yes, your kids are growing and before you know it, they will be grown with families of their own.  Today, take a mental snapshot of what is happening and just enjoy the moment.

Don’t go it alone.  Find other parents who are going through the same change.  Building a relationship with people going through the same change as you can help you build a balance in your outlook on the change.  It’s helpful to have people in your lives who are in the same place and who can encourage you and empathize with the difficult times.

These tips are meant to help you deal with the change of your kids going back to school. You don’t have to dread the change.  Instead, you can enjoy the fun moments that will come in the midst of the changes.

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.  II Timothy 1:7

Cheryl Gowin and Dennis Gowin, Hope for Tomorrow Counseling Center.  Contact us with your feedback, comments, issues, or questions at 434-808-2637.