I Left My Heart in the Microwave … or at least, I should have.

My birthday has come and gone and so has Valentine’s Day. I must say I have the best group of friends ever; I did not want for chocolate on either occasion.

The night before my birthday, I was given a cute little heart-shaped box of assorted chocolate candy, which I opened immediately and passed around the table. By the time the gathering dispersed, about half of the candy had been eaten. The remainder went home with me and New Dog to be enjoyed the next day.

My birthday was a normal work day and I went about my usual routine: let New Dog out, make the coffee, let New Dog in and give him a treat, watch an episode of House on TV, feed New Dog, get dressed, give New Dog his “be the best dog today while I’m gone” treat, and go to work. Routines are important to humans and pets, you know.

This day’s routine, however, included something I forgot to remember: the box of candy from the night before. When I got home that afternoon, the box lay empty on the floor in the den. I really had not intended for New Dog to enjoy the candy at all, much less the chocolate kind. I’m more guilty than he was ‘cause I left the box of candy where he could get it.

So, naturally, I panicked when I saw the empty box. I grabbed poor New Dog by the collar and hauled him out the back door. He thought it was a wonderful new game and was jumping and twirling and grinning. Little did he know that a good dose of peroxide was soon to follow. I believe in being safe rather than sorry so down his throat went the peroxide,  and soon thereafter, stuff started coming back the other way. That poor dog expelled the contents of his stomach in three or four episodes of “sick as a dog.”  When I thought he was finally through, we went back in the house, where he sat with his back to me for the next hour. He wouldn’t even turn his head when I called his name. Can’t say that I blame him.

So, exactly how much chocolate would it take to harm a dog? First of all, it depends on the ratio of dog weight to the amount of chocolate it consumes. The harmful element in the chocolate is theobromine, which is found in the cacao that makes chocolate so good to humans. Additionally, the darker the chocolate, the more theobromine contained therein. So, to put it simply, any amount of chocolate is harmful, some to a lesser degree. If that ratio is small, dogs will exhibit vomiting, diarrhea, or hyperactivity. If the dose is large, the dog’s heart rate will increase which can cause arrhythmia, restlessness, muscle twitching, and excessive panting. The final phase would involve muscle tremors, seizures, coma and even death.

Bottom line here is NO amount of chocolate is safe for dogs. Thus, the larger box of Valentine’s chocolates I found tucked in behind the storm door when I got home the next day has been kept hidden in the microwave – even while I’ve been home.