High Schoolers and Stress

Cheryl Gowin and Dennis Gowin.  Call us at our counseling practice with your feedback, comments, issues, or questions at 434-808-2637.

Do you have high-schoolers?  Does the movie Grease come to mind when you think about high school: fun-filled, no stress?  Don’t assume that your kids have the same view.

Millennials (that would include your high-schoolers) have been labeled as America’s most stressed generation based on recent studies.  Kids are now talking about being stressed as young as 13.  Starting in middle school, students are talking about anxiety over exams and college admissions.

A survey conducted by the Associated Press and MTV reported 85% of kids, with girls more than boys, described feeling a high level of stress at times.  For high school age kids, 13-17, school was the main source of their stress.

Stress can come from a personal drive to be at the top of the class, the desire to get into a specific school with stiff acceptance requirements, peer pressure, or the pressure to meet parent’s standards.  No matter the source, reaching academic goals can create pressure and stress.

Ok, so how do you help your Millennial reduce his or her stress?  Here are four actions that can help your son or daughter get through high school with less stress.

1.  Focus on making time for self-care.  Start with the basics.

Teens need about 8 to 10 hours of sleep each night to function best.  For all of us, lack of sleep makes it harder to handle daily activities.  Sleep deprivation, understanding lectures, or taking tests DO NOT go hand in hand.

Next, look at your child’s diet.  A healthy diet helps the body deal with daily pressures.

Finally, take time to smell the roses.  Make sure that your teen’s schedule includes down time.  Let your teen create the definition of down time.  Down time could be zoning out to music, exercising, or just talking a walk.  Talk with your teen about what he/she thinks is an activity that takes his/her mind off of what is causing the stress.

Here is Reba McEntire’s outline for reducing stress “I treat myself pretty good.  I take lots of vacations, I eat well, I take supplements, I get plenty of sleep, I drink plenty of water, and I stay away from drama and stress.”

2.  Change your thinking.  William James, a noted psychologist, holds “The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another”.  Listen to your teen.  Does he start his sentence with I can never, or it is impossible?  Is your daughter building a case for why she is not going to be able to finish the project?  Thoughts like these can be paralyzing.  Help your teen turn his/her thoughts to ways to meet his/her goals from reasons why he/she won’t meet her goals.

3.   Plan your assignments a step at a time.  Do you think motivation is all that is needed?  A study in the British Journal of Health Psychology found that 91% people who wrote an action plan, when, where and how, accomplished their task, actually meet their goals.  People who received motivational talks but did not plan how to accomplish their goal did not reach their goal.  You can help your teen reduce school stress by helping them build a plan for the semester.  Break the work down into manageable daily, small tasks.  Looking at small daily task list is much less daunting than looking at all that is needed to be accomplished to be accepted into Harvard.  Plus, learning to create a manageable plan is a good skill to take into adulthood.

4.   Set healthy boundaries and maintain balance.  Having healthy boundaries means knowing and understanding your limits.  It is easy for all of us, including teens, to include so many activities that we have no time for breaks or to relax.  There is a point beyond which we can’t push ourselves or we lose focus and burn out.  Help your teen learn where that point is and to learn when it time to take a break.  This may mean helping him/her look at a goal with a view of maintaining a balance in life.

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.  Psalms 32:8

Contact Cheryl Gowin and Dennis Gowin with your feedback, comments, issues, or questions; their phone number is 434-808-2637.