Hear Ye, Hear Ye – Dateline 1248 AD England – Bubonic Plague Update

Gov’nor Ralph of Northum-berland announced today a local miller has been arrested for violating Gov’nor Ralph’s anti-plague decree. Northum-berland stated that following his trial, “Miller ________will be hanged, removed from the gallows before dead, then drawn and quartered with the pieces of his body to be hung about the town as a warning to others who may consider disobeying the edicts.”

Officials have stated the evidence against the Miller is unquestionable.

The Miller has operated a flour mill that grinds corn (which according to soothsayers and fortune tellers) will be called wheat following the discovery of the New World and maize. 

During the most virulent plague ever experienced on earth, the Miller and his family have remained plague-free AND have violated all protective orders in place.

He has refused to carry flowers to protect himself from miasma.

He has frequently breathed night air well known to carry plague.

He has even broken bread outside at night claiming health benefits of “fresh air.”

He has harbored cats, long known to be familiars of Satan and condemned by the church. He has claimed the scores of cats in his mill prevent rats from eating and befouling the corn. The proof of his allegiance to Satan is that neither he nor his family have suffered from the plague.

As the mill is critical and necessary to the community, the Gov’nor has confiscated the mill and once the cats have been exterminated and the premises blessed the mill will be turned over to The Amazon Shipping Company who will operate it within sound scientific, medical and religious precepts.

Amazon announced today there will be an increase in the cost of flour to cover the expense of the measures.

Averett Jones Announces His Withdrawal from Politics

Jones confirmed today he is withdrawing from the 2021 Virginia Governor’s race.  He was running as “The Barefoot Libertarian.” 

“I am forced to withdraw due to a racist incident over Christmas,” he said.  “If I were a Democrat I could have worn a Klan robe in college or been accused of rape or abuse of women. If I were a Democrat I could have led the ‘Massive resistance’ to integration and civil rights for minorities and have a statue of myself on Capitol Square in Richmond like Harry Flood Byrd.”

Northam removed the statue of General Robert E. Lee and will replace it with a statue of Barbara Johns, who was a leader in the fight against Harry Byrd and his Democrat cronies. “While the Barbara Johns statue is a positive move she should be face to face with Byrd and shaking her finger or fist at him,” Jones said.

The incident forcing Jones to withdraw was a Christmas gift he gave his wife.  While on the surface it was a salt and pepper shaker shaped like a sailboat, there were sinister racist connotations.

A leading democrat responded.  “We cannot allow a man like Jones with his obvious racist tendencies to represent Virginia. He must withdraw. We continue to support Ralph Northam.” 

COVID

I am not anti-mask. You and every American should do whatever it is that you believe will protect you.  My issue is mandating unproven or ineffective ideas on others. For example, I carry a bandana.  If I am not allowed to enter somewhere I need to go, I do the train robber mask and am admitted.  Every study has proven bandanas are NOT effective. As some of the other accepted masks, they are useless as a COVID mask.  

For some reason the symbolism is enough.  One day I will write a “knit your own condom” article that shows the comparison between homemade untested condoms and the proven ones.

My bride got three “COVID” masks for Christmas. All three were mass produced by different suppliers. All three had a disclaimer “Does NOT protect against COVID.”

My son pointed out that the disclaimer might be simply for protection from lawsuits.  He may be correct.  However, I would be happier if they said “May not protect from COVID.” Does not seems pretty emphatic to me.

One study documented that two types of masks commonly in use are totally ineffective.  Another acts as a “spray nozzle” breaking large droplets into smaller ones that float longer and endanger others more and longer.

Mandating an ineffective and possibly dangerous untested product is just poor science. It is poor government and it is un-American.

Ignorance of the Law is NO Excuse

1200 New Virginia Laws

As of this week, Virginians will be expected to obey 1200 new laws.  How is John Q. Public supposed to know what they are?  We aren’t notified by our government. Our only option is to read newspapers and look online. 

For most of us the only way we will discover we have violated a “new law” is when we are charged with violating one of them.

How can our representatives possibly believe we need 1200 new laws? The only logical reason for that many laws is to hide or minimize some of them. It is like a 5000-page budget that our lawmakers only had two hours to read. 

Many of these “laws” will be ignored.  An unenforced law is a bad law.  We already have thousands of outdated and unenforced laws that no one seems to care about. 

My proposal is that any official who proposes a new law includes in the proposal two old laws that will be eliminated.

I also propose that every new law has a “shelf life” of five years.  Unless it is renewed it will expire in five years.

Most Americans believe in FREEDOM. We need freedom from new laws.