God’s plan for aging

This reporter keeps reading that in 25 years one out of every five people will be over 65 and one out of every 10 will be over 80.  The graying of America! We know it’s here! We see it all around us. In some ways we laugh at it.

Bob Hope once said, “You know you’re old when the candles cost more than the cake.”  It has been said that there are only three stages in life:  youth, adulthood, and, “My, you’re looking well.” When folks start saying that, you know where you are!

This plan for aging came from many e-mail blogs and I will share it with you:  Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom, God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things; thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was GOOD!

Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things, requiring them to bend, reach and stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was GOOD!

Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it also was GOOD!

So, if you find as you age, you are getting up and down more, remember it’s God’s will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath.

Here are nine important facts to remember as you grow older:

1. Death is the number one killer in the world.

2. Life is sexually transmitted.

3. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

4. Men have two motivations: hunger and hanky-panky and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.

5. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, and maybe, years!

6. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.

7. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

8. In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

9. Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow!

God made our close vision start to deteriorate about the same time wrinkles start to appear. Now, loving couples can look at each other up close without glasses and say, “You look as good as the day I met you.”