Forty and Counting, Middle Age Confusions And Most Likely To…

I have my fortieth high school class reunion coming up. I’m looking forward to it but I have to say I am amazed. It is beyond comprehension. Who would have ever thought I would actually graduate from high school?

For that matter who would have ever thought I would survive to see the 21st anniversary of my birth much less make it this long? If, in addition to the Senior Superlatives, we had voted on least likely to succeed, I would have been in the running for “most likely to face incarceration for life.”

As I have said before, I graduated from high school by “the skin of my teeth” which since then has been officially documented as ½ of a grade point. Still, once you get past the graduation no one ever asks or cares about your GPA. All GPA means is another way to compete. I even learned years later (as if it mattered to me) that some employers won’t hire people with 4.0’s. In some businesses appearance is more important than intelligence and experience. I’ve seen people hire 10’s that can’t read write or speak correctly but are easy to look at. In my case neither of those applied.

The organizers of the reunion sent out a little questionnaire. Talk about flashbacks to high school. At best I’m looking at a D-plus on this one.

First they wanted my name and address. As always that part was where I can excel. Then it got more difficult. Occupation: Years ago that one was easy. My occupation was beekeeper and my avocation was beekeeper. Now it is more difficult. Right now I am occupying a chair in the Messenger office but that is subject to change any minute.

They wanted spouse’s name and occupation. Well, that’s another one that isn’t as easy as it sounds. Everyone who knows us knows her name is Management and her job is managing me. I’m pretty sure she had another name when I met her but I’ve never called her by it.

They wanted to know what organizations to which I belonged. I responded with Groucho Marx’s “I will not join any organization that would allow me to be a member.” Next was the children and grandchildren question. Considering we had our middle child first and our oldest last and the question if wives and husbands of children count as mine just confused me.

Then it really got difficult. List Hobbies: A hobby is an activity, interest , enthusiasm or amateur pastime undertaken for pleasure done during leisure time. I found a list of 200 hobbies, some of which actually interest me and in which I am involved. It’s the “undertaken for pleasure in leisure time” that is a problem. I enjoy everything I do but the motive is profit and profit is pleasure. I ended up leaving that one blank also. I’ve given up everything that was fun but not profitable like flying an ultra-light airplane years ago. All that is left is drinking coffee and-and something else we won’t discuss. Besides I do most of my coffee drinking at work which knocks out the leisure time part. Once upon a time I might have tried the other “hobby” at work also but now that one requires Management’s permission and participation.

I just broke my third pair of glasses this week. Counting the ones I lost that makes five pairs down this week. Fortunately for me my glasses only cost a dollar a pair. Also fortunately for me Management wears the same magnification so as long as I don’t mind pink glasses I’m fine. Still it seems a shame to spend five dollars in one week just to see clearly. I decided I was going to glue the last pair back together. The issue is if you need glasses then you need glasses to repair glasses.

Before you send any comments regarding my somewhat fuzzy view of the world just remember my view works for me and even the glasses don’t fix it. Besides I like it this way.