Home » Archives by category » Columnists » Rural Legends (Page 3)

Plants, Stolen Watermelons and Rocks

Plants, Stolen Watermelons and Rocks

Original Run Date: June 10, 2010 My theory that plants were not created for people to eat has received some opposition.  I have been told that growing and possibly eating…

Angels, Duck Pumps, and Codgers

Angels, Duck Pumps, and Codgers

Original Run Date: July 1, 2010 One night last week my bride Management looked out the bedroom window and screamed. Now you should keep in mind that Management is not…

Flying, Junk Yards & Jones Art

Flying, Junk Yards & Jones Art

Shortly after my birth I remember thinking, “This light is a good thing. I am going to like it.” Then they gave me the first of many spankings, cleaned me…

And Betty’s Buns

And Betty’s Buns

My bride Management and I will be celebrating our 32nd wedding anniversary next month. I wrote the following column seven years ago and oddly it still applies. The only real…

Senior Citizens, Things That Suck and Uppity Friends

Senior Citizens, Things That Suck and Uppity Friends

I have been adjusting to the fact that this July I will achieve a chronological milestone. I will officially be a senior citizen. I am looking forward to the free…

Bear Skin, Bare Skin & Fashion Models

Bear Skin, Bare Skin & Fashion Models

I just got my bearskin back from the taxidermist.  I have to say I am not usually a fan of keeping dead stuff.  I think most skins are more attractive…

Dowries, Daffodils & Weddings

Dowries, Daffodils & Weddings

Editor’s Note: Last weekend Management and I kept the herd of Grand-brats so the daughter and son-in –law could celebrate the anniversary of their wedding. We had fun. Below is…

Dead Beat Geese, Daffodils and “Free if…”

Dead Beat Geese, Daffodils and “Free if…”

It is now officially spring according to my DBG calculator.  That means Mr. Deadbeat Goose and his mate have arrived and are nesting on my duck island in the pond.…

On the Edge, On the Team, Not on the Fence

On the Edge, On the Team, Not on the Fence

After over 30 years of marriage I have learned many things. I can now compile a complete list of my character flaws. I have also learned that a bride’s reaction…

DVDs, Captain Fantastic & a Skinny Guy

DVDs, Captain Fantastic & a Skinny Guy

The Godfather gave us a DVD for Christmas.  I seem to remember lots of folks talking about DVDs when I was single and none of them had anything positive to…