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Planting Aunts, My Ding-A-Ling and Lying Robins

Planting Aunts, My Ding-A-Ling and Lying Robins

For the past few weeks I’ve been playing around with a hangnail on my big toe. My bride Management suggested I go for a pedicure. I don’t know what that…

Hands Free, Duck Tape and Resignation

Hands Free, Duck Tape and Resignation

I’ve been trying to adjust to this new phone. Not only are the buttons different, I really miss my suicide bomber ring tone. As you know, my theory is that…

Cell Phones, Catherine the Great and Fan Clubs

Cell Phones, Catherine the Great and Fan Clubs

I just got a new cell phone. I really have a problem with them. I don’t like anything to do with cells. Why can’t they be called “air” phones or…

New Uses for a Fire Truck, the New Despicables and New is Not Better

New Uses for a Fire Truck, the New Despicables and New is Not Better

I went into the office (oops, I almost said into work which would imply I actually do something here and this column is always truthful) to discover it was Minion…

Drunks, Three-Year-Old Semantics and De-volution

Drunks, Three-Year-Old Semantics and De-volution

I just had a conversation with an interesting guy. He is witty, intelligent and articulate. On the other hand he insists drinking alcohol is necessary at a party to “lubricate…

Cosmic Fire Trucks, Getting up on the Wrong Side and An Over-Abundance of Averetts

Cosmic Fire Trucks, Getting up on the Wrong Side and An Over-Abundance of Averetts

One of my cousins posted a compliment on Facebook regarding a Rural Legends column several weeks ago. He said nice things. I’m not used to people saying nice things. He…

Unorganized, Undecorated and Unapologetic

By Management It’s that time of year where things get a little sideways. We try to cram 18-hour days into eight hours of daylight and wonder why we can’t get…

Verbing, Bob-tailed Mice & Genetic Absolution

Verbing, Bob-tailed Mice & Genetic Absolution

You can learn a lot from all these bright young folks (BYFs) running around. I just found out about “verbing.” Verbing is what the BYFs call it when you take…

Kindles, Pointed Disobedience & Creative Minds

Kindles, Pointed Disobedience & Creative Minds

My bride Management said something last night about giving me a Kendall for Christmas. I have to say I was pretty upset. Kendall happened to be one of the names…

Jigsaw Puzzles, Cantilevers and Only One Jackass

Jigsaw Puzzles, Cantilevers and Only One Jackass

A couple of months ago I bought a jigsaw puzzle. How about that? I just had a glimmer of enlightenment. I just realized why they are called jigsaw puzzles. The…