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Cheap Chicks, Suicidal Dump Trucks and Upgrading

Cheap Chicks, Suicidal Dump Trucks and Upgrading

The yard bird population around here has dropped to four. For some reason some folks think it is fine for their dogs to visit my place and kill my stuff.…

Aprils Fools, Spring Cleaning and Dumb Country Boys

Aprils Fools, Spring Cleaning and Dumb Country Boys

Today is April first. I’m told it is also April Fools Day. This really concerns me. What kind of amateur is only a fool one day a year. I always…

Eggs to You, Sweet Phones and Brats in Motion

Eggs to You, Sweet Phones and Brats in Motion

Last week I mentioned that when the son was young his goal in life was to be master of the universe. After keeping the grand-brats last weekend I am going…

Spring Back, TV News and Drinking of the Green

Spring Back, TV News and Drinking of the Green

The Grand-brat is in trouble and all I have to say is it isn’t my fault. In fact, I intend to not only deny all responsibility, I intend to blame…

Building Bulldozers, Stoned Henges, and Baby Tales

Building Bulldozers, Stoned Henges, and Baby Tales

We just got some good news. The daughter is adding to her herd of Grand-brats. I have only one complaint. If they had really worked at it we could be…

Sasquatch, Cajoling Daffodils and Multi-lingual Phones

Sasquatch, Cajoling Daffodils and Multi-lingual Phones

Years ago the son proposed a theory of proximity. At the time he was riding a bicycle across country. His theory was that the farther you are from your bike…

Fatitudes, Little Green Spacemen and Vegetable Buns

Fatitudes, Little Green Spacemen and Vegetable Buns

In one of those cruel twists of life I’ve been gaining some weight. According to a doctor that I quit seeing because I didn’t like what he said, I might…

Red Faced, Green Stamped and Burning Money

Red Faced, Green Stamped and Burning Money

This week as I was doing what I often do, which is looking for neat things to buy and resell at a reasonable profit I found a 36-foot sailboat at…

Planting Aunts, My Ding-A-Ling and Lying Robins

Planting Aunts, My Ding-A-Ling and Lying Robins

For the past few weeks I’ve been playing around with a hangnail on my big toe. My bride Management suggested I go for a pedicure. I don’t know what that…

Hands Free, Duck Tape and Resignation

Hands Free, Duck Tape and Resignation

I’ve been trying to adjust to this new phone. Not only are the buttons different, I really miss my suicide bomber ring tone. As you know, my theory is that…