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Book House, Girl Scout Cookies and Willpower

   Written by on February 22, 2018 at 12:52 pm
The stories in this column are true. Averett lives a dull life in rural Southside Virginia with his wife Management, two children and a rotating assortment of goats, dogs, cats, snakes and other local fauna.

The stories in this column are true. Averett lives a dull life in rural Southside Virginia with his wife Management, two children and a rotating assortment of goats, dogs, cats, snakes and other local fauna.

Last night I was reading to a couple of the Grand-brats when their mother sat on the couch with us.  The book I was reading is from a set of books called “Book House.” There are 12 volumes in the set.

The first is nursery rhymes and they get more involved as you go. Book House is a family tradition. Almost 100 years ago my Grandmother sold them door to door to make money and I suppose to get discounts for her own family.  Discounts are hereditary in my family, so is Book House.

When our brats were still young I bought them each a set for when they had families of their own. Now I’m collecting them for the G-brats.

The problem is Book House was sanitized in the 80’s so I have to find older copies. I will never understand why it is necessary or advantageous to remove certain words and stories from books. That robs parents of the opportunity to explain why or why not a certain word isn’t or shouldn’t be used today. This is called education but I guess political correctness is more important than education.

In any case, as I was reading both of the G-brats got bored and wandered off so I quit reading. Well, it seemed their mother was enjoying a flashback moment into her childhood so I had to keep reading. See what I mean about tradition?

My brats and I frequently have discussions on books. We have agreed that it is impossible to list our ten favorites, Maybe 10 for the year or authors or something but not ten in a life. Impossible.

However, I can list ten books that had a positive impact on my character. One of them was “The Knights of the Silver Shield,” Book House, Vol 10.

I also sing to the G-brats. Now there has often been discussion on if my singing is actually singing but I enjoy it and the G-brats don’t know any better. As my mother used to say, we may not sing well but we make a joyful noise.

I once offered to record my singing for the police to use for riot control and in hostage situations. They could play me singing and the crowd would disperse. My kind offer was declined. I suspect it was considered a constitutional violation involving cruel and unusual punishment.

But as I said the G-brats either don’t know any better or maybe their hearing hasn’t developed yet.

Last week we got everything done on one of my junk jet skis. The only thing that was left was test driving it on something bigger than our pond.

Management had Friday off and as far as she is concerned “A day on the water is better than a day anywhere else.” It didn’t matter that it was cold or that it was raining. It was a day on the water.

As a point of fact, I still haven’t driven a jet ski, though I have ridden one now. I just rode and held onto Management which is always one of my favorite hobbies.

The ski ran great and I’ve got a victim, I mean, customer coming this week.

Today, February 21st is Management and my official Valentine’s Day.  As you know I call the real Valentine’s Day Amateurs’ Day although I will admit it is a great opportunity for beginning romance. I just don’t like it for us.

Our V-Day is flexible. It is the first day one of her daffodils bloom which happens to be today this year.

Happy V-Day my Love!

Another advantage to having V-Day later than the rest of the world is candy is half-price or less. You just can’t make a practical woman happier than saving money.

I just got my first box of thin mint Girl Scout cookies for this year.  Woo-hoo! The only problem is that for years I have considered each box to be two servings. One sleeve is a serving.  Since I’ve been having my battle with Fat-boy I have had to change that. There are now six servings in a box.  My will power is getting a real workout today.

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