Be the Comeback Kid

Cheryl Gowin and Dennis Gowin.  Call us at our counseling practice with your feedback, comments, issues, or questions at 434-808-2637.

Did you watch UVA win the NCAA championship or Tiger Woods’ winning attack of the Augusta golf course?  One online prediction of Tiger’s chance of winning stated, “Tiger’s implied odds of winning the 87-man tournament are 6.67 percent. But there’s no reason to think Tiger is even close to that likely to win.”  But he fought on.

Nike played a commercial immediately after Tiger’s win which pictured his career with the wording: “It is crazy to think that a 43-year old, who has experienced every high and every low, has just won his 15th major.”

Ok, this is not a sports column, so why all the sports talk?  To help answer the questions, can this marriage be saved, can I ever stop my bad habits, or to make it more general, can I rebuild my life?

The answer is yes.  Is your next question, how?

Start with hope.  Hope, not as a wishful dream, but as the Merriam-Webster dictionary defines hope.  Hope is the desire or belief that something is true, real and that it can or will occur.  Hope is a strong motivator to take action and furnishes a strong foundation for change.

Do you find it hard to keep hope alive?  It is easy for us to let our hope fade when we realize we are not perfect.  Or, when we try and fail.  When we lose the view that change can happen, that things can get better, we lose our motivation. We start to feel down, crushed, and the future looks bleak.

What do we do when change feels impossible?  Take a step back and remember we can change regardless of where we have been, our past, or where we are now.  Why hope for change?  It is Holy Week, the week between Palm Sunday and Easter Sunday that commemorates the ultimate travel between highs and lows.  This week is a celebrated example of Jesus’ hope for change.

CBS News wrote about the UVA win: “On Monday night inside U.S. Bank Stadium, UVA coach Tony Bennett, humbly seated on his stool, dropped his head in blissful victory.  Virginia’s first championship in school history and Bennett’s first title as a coach completes the circle, the curvature of which started on March 16, 2018, when No.1 overall seed UVA lost by 20 points to No. 16 UMBC and became the most infamous loser in NCAA Tournament history.  Bennett said “I’m thankful, in a way, for what happened because of what it did, it drew me closer, most importantly, to my faith in the Lord, drew me closer to my wife and children, just because you realize what’s unconditional.   In those spots when the world’s telling you, you’re a failure, you’re a loser, and you’re the worst thing going, and all that stuff, you say, OK, what really matters?”

Your relationships buoy your hope for change. Surround yourself with hopeful people who support your desire to change. It is challenging to pursue change without the encouragement of others.  When you face struggles, you need help, not isolation.  Most of us hate change. It upends our comfort levels and leaves us feeling insecure and afraid.  Change challenges our expectations, our routines, our view of the world and the way we live.  Like an athlete needs a coach, you need hopeful people whose foundation and hope is in God.  You may need to “borrow” hope from others when you have trouble finding it in yourself.  Have the courage it takes to reach out to people in your life, such as your friends, family, pastor, or a support group.  Not everyone in our life can provide this help.  Don’t let that stop you from building a meaningful support network.  Find the people or group that bests encourages you to move forward with hope for change in your life.  You can be the next comeback kid!

Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Never rely on what you think you know. Remember the Lord in everything you do, and he will show you the right way.  Proverbs 3:5-6   I will teach you the way you should go; I will instruct you and advise you.  Psalm 32:8

Cheryl Gowin and Dennis Gowin.  Call us with your feedback, comments, issues, or questions; our phone number is 434-808-2637.