2015 Resolutions

It’s that time again … the beginning of a new year and everyone is setting New Year’s resolutions.  Every year the top resolutions are:  lose weight, get organized, fall in love, spend less and save more, find a way to enjoy life, quit smoking, learn something exciting, get fit and exercise more, pay it forward by helping others find their dream, and spend more time with family.

Is your resolution included in this list?  Great.  But, let’s take a minute and consider what would happen if you and your spouse’s resolutions focused on your marriage.  If you, together, came up with a few resolutions that were fun and actually worked to build up your relationship.

Just some thoughts ..

Resolve to NOT want to “talk” during the Super Bowl.  Oh, and yes, this year there is also the college football playoffs during which conversations should be avoided.  Resolve to set a regular time for uninterrupted conversation.  Just five minutes a day can make a difference.

Resolve to NOT ask your husband to share his feelings. Yes, you’d like to know what is going on in his head.  Resolve to simply ask, “What do you think?”  A question he is more likely to answer and you might even find out how he feels.

Resolve to NOT always eat meals with your focus on media; that is watching TV, reading the paper, or texting.  Resolve to have a weekly date of eating dinner together with no media interruptions.  Seriously.  That means no TV, no cell phones, no IPads.  This is a date; hire a baby sitter or feed the kids early, put them to bed and plan a late dinner for the two of you.

Resolve to NOT eat sweets or anything fun.  Just kidding.  Resolve to take walks together holding hands.  Did you know that studies show that holding your spouse’s hand can decrease your blood pressure?

Resolve to NOT make decisions in a vacuum.  Resolve to set goals as a team.  Decide on one thing that you and your spouse want to accomplish together this year and make plans to see it happen.  You will be doing things as a team throughout the year.  Are you close to being an empty-nester?  This resolution will help you and your spouse make this transition.

Resolve to NOT point out how your spouse can be more organized.  Resolve to pick one place or way you and your spouse can be more organized together.

Resolve to NOT focus on your spouse’s weakness.  Resolve to compliment or encourage your spouse at least five times a day.  Your spouse most likely already knows his or her weaknesses.  Amazingly, people often have trouble knowing and acknowledging their strengths.

Resolve to NOT always plan everything.  Resolve to be spontaneous… sometimes.  Remember, all things in moderation.  Having everything planned or the opposite, everything unplanned, can make for a miserable marriage.

Resolve to NOT over spend.  Resolve to talk together about how to spend less than you make by finding one place that you can spend less.  Maybe giving up smoking?

Resolve to NOT be uninvolved with the kids.  Resolve to find one activity a week to do with the kids; play a game, take a walk, or find a place you, as a family, can volunteer.  Your church can use your help; ask your Pastor how you can help as a family.

Resolve to NOT compete with your spouse.  Resolve to find one way to serve your spouse.  It does seem that selfishness comes naturally, but selflessness takes intentional effort.

Resolve to NOT always be serious.  Resolve to have fun together.  Find a way you can laugh together.

Guess what? These resolutions may help you lose weight, get organized, spend less/save more, enjoy life to the fullest, get healthy, learn something exciting, quit smoking, help others, fall more in love, and spend more time with family.  Who knew?

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.  Jeremiah 29:11

Have a great 2015!

Cheryl Gowin, and Dennis Gowin, Hope for Tomorrow Counseling Center.  Contact us with your feedback, comments, issues, or questions at 434-808-2637.